February 2005 Ronnie deployed on a Navy ship that was sailing around the world. We didn't say our good-byes on the best of terms. I remember hugging him in our apartment and telling him that I loved him. I also begged him to keep the drinking to a minimum and to stay out of trouble... he knew I meant girls... His friends drove him to base. I waved to him from the balcony of our apartment and then went on with my day. I don't even remember why I didn't drive him. Maybe I had to work that day.
Ronnie had started off the deployment with a phone call about once a week and sent me at least one e-mail a day. As time went on I was getting about one phone call a month and about one e-mail a week. The phone calls lasted less than five minutes and the e-mails were boring, generic and sounding a bit forced. For about 2 months I e-mailed him every day... When I realized that I was getting nothing in return my e-mails slowed down too.
March 2005 was when the 1st affair happened... well I guess it wasn't really an affair... more like a one night stand. I didn't find out about it until AFTER the deployment. Ronnie was distancing himself from me because he had cheated on me. He had told me that some guy from the ship had flown his girlfriend from the States into Guam, which was their first stop. He didn't care for this guy and wanted to prove to who-knows-who that he could get this guy's girlfriend to sleep with him. (His favorite thing to say back then...and probably still... is, "I do what I want.") I truly believe that he doesn't think he'll have any consequences for his actions. At least at the time he's doing it. And of course he was completely drunk at the time. They did it in the bathroom of a club... In a bathroom stall. Classy, right?
Back at home I was hanging out with my best friend at the time, Melissa. She and her husband had just filed for divorce. (I think she was really hurt when it happened. She did what I did when Ronnie and I got divorced... She went looking for male attention. Not saying it's right, but I think we both dealt with it the same way.) She and I would hang out in Pacific Beach a lot. (Lots of bars, tattoo shops and guys!) We hung out with a lot of guys she knew during that time. After we both turned 21 we would also go to a bar every now and then. When I wasn't hanging out with her I was working... Until the night I went over to a friend's apartment...
That night changed everything for me.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Marriage, Year One
December 2003 - December 2004
I learned a lot that first year. A lot about life, about myself and about the man I just married. Neither one of us really thought things through. I was fresh out of high school and he went straight from one marriage right into another. I gave up a lot of my future plans in the name of love and I think in a way I actually started to resent Ronnie for it.
I decided against joining the Marine Corps and instead of going to college like all of my friends I started working in retail full time. My hours at work were awful. I worked a lot of nights and weekends, which I hated. My new husband was working nights as well, but he had all weekends and holidays off. We spent very little time together during this time.
During the weekends while I worked he spent all his time either at his friend's house or the bars. He drank. A LOT. I didn't even realize that he had a drinking problem until we were married. Even though I knew that he had a problem with it he would never admit to it. He always said that he could handle his alcohol and he could stop drinking any time he wanted to. He drove home drunk almost every night. Some nights he wouldn't make it home and I would have to track him down.
Along with the drinking were the girls... He's a naturally friendly and flirtatious kind of guy and could make fast friends where ever he went. The girls that hung around the bars and his friend's houses showed lots of interest in him. I was still too young to go to the bar with him, but I saw girls flirting with him on the nights that we'd both have off. Nights like that always ended in me getting angry with him and him drinking more and more. I would usually leave him where ever we were and drive myself home... Only to be wondering what was going on without me there. I'd end up calling him all night.
(Thinking about this time in my life brings up all the hurt feelings as if this all happened yesterday. I was a very jealous and bitter person back then. I was angry all the time. Looking back on this now I don't even know why we stayed married! We had no kids. We didn't own anything besides our cars... I just kept telling myself that it would get better. That he would grow out of it and that we'd go back to how things were when we first met. I stayed because I didn't want a failed marriage at the age of 20. I didn't want to have to start my life over again... Little did I know that had I done it then things would have been MUCH easier.)
At the end of 2004 we found out that Ronnie would be leaving on deployment in January 2005. This one was different. He'd be on a ship that sailed around the world for 7 months. I was ready for him to leave....
I learned a lot that first year. A lot about life, about myself and about the man I just married. Neither one of us really thought things through. I was fresh out of high school and he went straight from one marriage right into another. I gave up a lot of my future plans in the name of love and I think in a way I actually started to resent Ronnie for it.
I decided against joining the Marine Corps and instead of going to college like all of my friends I started working in retail full time. My hours at work were awful. I worked a lot of nights and weekends, which I hated. My new husband was working nights as well, but he had all weekends and holidays off. We spent very little time together during this time.
During the weekends while I worked he spent all his time either at his friend's house or the bars. He drank. A LOT. I didn't even realize that he had a drinking problem until we were married. Even though I knew that he had a problem with it he would never admit to it. He always said that he could handle his alcohol and he could stop drinking any time he wanted to. He drove home drunk almost every night. Some nights he wouldn't make it home and I would have to track him down.
Along with the drinking were the girls... He's a naturally friendly and flirtatious kind of guy and could make fast friends where ever he went. The girls that hung around the bars and his friend's houses showed lots of interest in him. I was still too young to go to the bar with him, but I saw girls flirting with him on the nights that we'd both have off. Nights like that always ended in me getting angry with him and him drinking more and more. I would usually leave him where ever we were and drive myself home... Only to be wondering what was going on without me there. I'd end up calling him all night.
(Thinking about this time in my life brings up all the hurt feelings as if this all happened yesterday. I was a very jealous and bitter person back then. I was angry all the time. Looking back on this now I don't even know why we stayed married! We had no kids. We didn't own anything besides our cars... I just kept telling myself that it would get better. That he would grow out of it and that we'd go back to how things were when we first met. I stayed because I didn't want a failed marriage at the age of 20. I didn't want to have to start my life over again... Little did I know that had I done it then things would have been MUCH easier.)
At the end of 2004 we found out that Ronnie would be leaving on deployment in January 2005. This one was different. He'd be on a ship that sailed around the world for 7 months. I was ready for him to leave....
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
My Past: September 2002 - December 2003
September 2002 -
Ronnie left for what we thought would be a 6-7 month deployment to Japan. We had no idea that the war in Iraq would break out in March 2003. We had no idea that he would be stuck there for a whole year. The whole time he was gone we stayed in constant contact with each other. We emailed several times a day and he called to talk to me for hours on end after work. Everything seemed perfect.
He came home to visit for a few weeks in December. He stayed for Christmas and my birthday. I was turning 19 in January 2003. He got down on one knee that day and proposed to me. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. We were both beyond happy with the way things were going. Only problem was that he was still legally married to his wife. He kept telling me that she was taking care of it and that it was supposed to be final as soon as he got back.
That never happened.
September 2003 -
Ronnie returned from Japan and their divorce STILL wasn't final yet. So he and I traveled the 6 hours up north to get her to sign the paperwork... and to visit with his son who was now 2. We found out that she was pregnant with some random man's baby. She didn't fight us about signing the paper work. She signed and we went back home. He was staying with us at my parent's house... in a separate room.
November 2003 -
We rented our first apartment together. (I actually live right next door to the complex he and I used to live in...) I wanted to wait until we were married, but I was already tired of living at my parents house. I think we really rushed things because we didn't want to stay there any more.
December 17th 2003 -
His divorce was final and we got the paperwork in the mail a few days later. We eloped the day we got it... on December 20th. The only people we told were my mom and my best friend.
-----
That first year of marriage wasn't the best...
Ronnie left for what we thought would be a 6-7 month deployment to Japan. We had no idea that the war in Iraq would break out in March 2003. We had no idea that he would be stuck there for a whole year. The whole time he was gone we stayed in constant contact with each other. We emailed several times a day and he called to talk to me for hours on end after work. Everything seemed perfect.
He came home to visit for a few weeks in December. He stayed for Christmas and my birthday. I was turning 19 in January 2003. He got down on one knee that day and proposed to me. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. We were both beyond happy with the way things were going. Only problem was that he was still legally married to his wife. He kept telling me that she was taking care of it and that it was supposed to be final as soon as he got back.
That never happened.
September 2003 -
Ronnie returned from Japan and their divorce STILL wasn't final yet. So he and I traveled the 6 hours up north to get her to sign the paperwork... and to visit with his son who was now 2. We found out that she was pregnant with some random man's baby. She didn't fight us about signing the paper work. She signed and we went back home. He was staying with us at my parent's house... in a separate room.
November 2003 -
We rented our first apartment together. (I actually live right next door to the complex he and I used to live in...) I wanted to wait until we were married, but I was already tired of living at my parents house. I think we really rushed things because we didn't want to stay there any more.
December 17th 2003 -
His divorce was final and we got the paperwork in the mail a few days later. We eloped the day we got it... on December 20th. The only people we told were my mom and my best friend.
-----
That first year of marriage wasn't the best...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
And the Deception Starts Early
Summer 2002 -
That first date was just the beginning for us. I fell asleep next to him that night and never left. I was hooked on him. He said all the right things and gave me all the attention I've ever wanted. He showered me with love and affection. I had never been with anyone like him before. He already had a career going for him. He had his own place... kinda. He treated me like a princess. After only a few weeks he told me that he loved me. Soon I was telling him the same thing. It was around this time that I found out about his wife and child.
How did I not see that coming?!
There was no evidence at the apartment that he was married and had a baby. There were no toys. No baby clothes. No sign that a woman had ever lived there. He never even mentioned it! None of his friends had mentioned anything about him being married... I found out about them by asking Ronnie a question about something he had hanging up in his room. It was a word made out of metal wire. It simply said, Tre. I asked him what it meant and he hesitantly answered that it was the name of his son. Eventually he told me the whole story. Or at least the story according to him.
He's very good at spinning a story to favor himself.
They were on a break and she had moved back home to Visalia to figure things out. His son was just 9 months old. He swore that they were over and he wasn't going back to her. He said that I made him more happy in the past couple months than she ever had in the past year. He filled my head with everything I wanted to hear. He told me about all their problems and how he didn't want to be with her any more. He told me how beautiful I was and that he would never leave me.
So at 18 years old I was made out to be the other woman and I didn't even know it.
Of course I stayed with him. I was head over heels in love with him. I even told my mom that I thought he was The One. I told myself that we could make this work. If we got married I could handle being a step mom. We could get through anything, right? As long as we loved each other...
A few weeks later he took a trip to Visalia to visit them. By the time he went up there his wife knew about us. He called her on the phone right in front of me... to prove how much he loved me... Ronnie was very hurtful in the things that he said to her that day. In my mind at the time I was only thinking that I had won. Here he was married to this woman and yet he loved me more.
Her mother and family didn't know that anything was wrong between them so (according to Ronnie) to keep up appearances he slept in her bed. They ended up sleeping together a few days in to his trip. It could have been more, but I can only go by what I was told. He ended up coming home that night. He says he felt too guilty to stay. He got home late that night and told me everything. I was beyond hurt and felt completely betrayed by him! How could he have done that to me after all the things he's said to me?? It took me awhile, but I decided that he truly was sorry and that it would never happen again. I stayed.
I should have left that night. This was just the beginning...
That first date was just the beginning for us. I fell asleep next to him that night and never left. I was hooked on him. He said all the right things and gave me all the attention I've ever wanted. He showered me with love and affection. I had never been with anyone like him before. He already had a career going for him. He had his own place... kinda. He treated me like a princess. After only a few weeks he told me that he loved me. Soon I was telling him the same thing. It was around this time that I found out about his wife and child.
How did I not see that coming?!
There was no evidence at the apartment that he was married and had a baby. There were no toys. No baby clothes. No sign that a woman had ever lived there. He never even mentioned it! None of his friends had mentioned anything about him being married... I found out about them by asking Ronnie a question about something he had hanging up in his room. It was a word made out of metal wire. It simply said, Tre. I asked him what it meant and he hesitantly answered that it was the name of his son. Eventually he told me the whole story. Or at least the story according to him.
He's very good at spinning a story to favor himself.
They were on a break and she had moved back home to Visalia to figure things out. His son was just 9 months old. He swore that they were over and he wasn't going back to her. He said that I made him more happy in the past couple months than she ever had in the past year. He filled my head with everything I wanted to hear. He told me about all their problems and how he didn't want to be with her any more. He told me how beautiful I was and that he would never leave me.
So at 18 years old I was made out to be the other woman and I didn't even know it.
Of course I stayed with him. I was head over heels in love with him. I even told my mom that I thought he was The One. I told myself that we could make this work. If we got married I could handle being a step mom. We could get through anything, right? As long as we loved each other...
A few weeks later he took a trip to Visalia to visit them. By the time he went up there his wife knew about us. He called her on the phone right in front of me... to prove how much he loved me... Ronnie was very hurtful in the things that he said to her that day. In my mind at the time I was only thinking that I had won. Here he was married to this woman and yet he loved me more.
Her mother and family didn't know that anything was wrong between them so (according to Ronnie) to keep up appearances he slept in her bed. They ended up sleeping together a few days in to his trip. It could have been more, but I can only go by what I was told. He ended up coming home that night. He says he felt too guilty to stay. He got home late that night and told me everything. I was beyond hurt and felt completely betrayed by him! How could he have done that to me after all the things he's said to me?? It took me awhile, but I decided that he truly was sorry and that it would never happen again. I stayed.
I should have left that night. This was just the beginning...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The First Date
July 18th, 2002 -
I decided that no harm could be done by going out just this once with Ronnie. I was very interested in getting to know him better. He had a playfulness about him that I enjoyed. He was flirty. He was handsome.... and he was interested in ME.
He took me to Applebees. That night I found out that he had been after me since the day we first met. He was just waiting for the right time. I was flattered. I had secretly wanted him too. We talked the whole time. He was very easy to talk to and he made me laugh. He showed an interest in me like no one had ever done before. He said all the right things... Touched my arm when he would talk. (He's always been a very touchy feely kinda guy.) Looked into my eyes when I would speak. I was becoming putty in his hands.
After dinner we went to the movies. I don't even remember the name of it now... I just remember there were dragons in it. I really wasn't interested in watching the movie. I had this guy sitting next to me that I wanted to get to know. The sexual energy between us was starting to get intense. We stuck to holding hands.
When the movie ended I wasn't ready to go home. Truth be told, I wouldn't have gone back home anyway... My parents thought I was staying at my friend's house for the week. I wasn't ready to end our date and neither was he. Ronnie suggested that we go back to his place to watch some movies that he had rented.
(Later on I found out that he had gone out and BOUGHT a DVD player and rented movies that day with the intent to get me back to his apartment.)
We got to his apartment and he had my favorite alcohol there. (We partied a lot when I was dating my boyfriend... lots of drinking almost every night.) We were in his bedroom which was the master bedroom with his own private bathroom in it.We started drinking and watched the first movie. He was touching me the whole time. Not in a truly sexual way, but like holding my hand or brushing his hand along my arm or back. I had promised myself that nothing was going to happen between us that night. He was making it really hard.
By the time our movie ended we both had a few drinks in us. He suggested we take a shower together... I had never done anything like that before and I was kinda nervous to do that with him. I wasn't thinking clearly because of the alcohol.... So we showered together. Up to that point in my life he was the most beautiful thing I had laid my eyes on. Wow, he was hard to resist that night, but we didn't do anything.... Our shower together ended and I put on one of his t-shirts and went to sleep next to him.
I was falling for him. HARD. What I didn't know at the time was that he had a few skeletons hiding in his closet... in the form of a wife and child.
To be continued...
I decided that no harm could be done by going out just this once with Ronnie. I was very interested in getting to know him better. He had a playfulness about him that I enjoyed. He was flirty. He was handsome.... and he was interested in ME.
He took me to Applebees. That night I found out that he had been after me since the day we first met. He was just waiting for the right time. I was flattered. I had secretly wanted him too. We talked the whole time. He was very easy to talk to and he made me laugh. He showed an interest in me like no one had ever done before. He said all the right things... Touched my arm when he would talk. (He's always been a very touchy feely kinda guy.) Looked into my eyes when I would speak. I was becoming putty in his hands.
After dinner we went to the movies. I don't even remember the name of it now... I just remember there were dragons in it. I really wasn't interested in watching the movie. I had this guy sitting next to me that I wanted to get to know. The sexual energy between us was starting to get intense. We stuck to holding hands.
When the movie ended I wasn't ready to go home. Truth be told, I wouldn't have gone back home anyway... My parents thought I was staying at my friend's house for the week. I wasn't ready to end our date and neither was he. Ronnie suggested that we go back to his place to watch some movies that he had rented.
(Later on I found out that he had gone out and BOUGHT a DVD player and rented movies that day with the intent to get me back to his apartment.)
We got to his apartment and he had my favorite alcohol there. (We partied a lot when I was dating my boyfriend... lots of drinking almost every night.) We were in his bedroom which was the master bedroom with his own private bathroom in it.We started drinking and watched the first movie. He was touching me the whole time. Not in a truly sexual way, but like holding my hand or brushing his hand along my arm or back. I had promised myself that nothing was going to happen between us that night. He was making it really hard.
By the time our movie ended we both had a few drinks in us. He suggested we take a shower together... I had never done anything like that before and I was kinda nervous to do that with him. I wasn't thinking clearly because of the alcohol.... So we showered together. Up to that point in my life he was the most beautiful thing I had laid my eyes on. Wow, he was hard to resist that night, but we didn't do anything.... Our shower together ended and I put on one of his t-shirts and went to sleep next to him.
I was falling for him. HARD. What I didn't know at the time was that he had a few skeletons hiding in his closet... in the form of a wife and child.
To be continued...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Where to start?
I should probably start from the beginning.
I was 18. It was May 2002 and we only had about a month and a half left of our senior year of high school. I had just started dating a guy I that I met earlier during my freshmen year. We had a lot of fun together while we were dating, but I knew he wasn't The One. We both had plans to join the Marine Corps. He was leaving in July and I was leaving next January. During our brief relationship he introduced me to his friend's older brother, Ronnie. Ronnie was constantly flirting with me when we were hanging out at my boyfriend's house. I was attracted to him and really wanted to get to know him better, but I was still with someone else. My boyfriend had started to distance himself from me because he was preparing to leave for boot camp. At the time I didn't understand why. I now realize that's their way to deal with leaving... to make it easier on themselves. Ronnie was giving me the attention I craved.
My boyfriend left for boot camp on July 15th, 2002. He was cold and distant that day. His way to deal with leaving. I was crying. We said our good-byes at the recruiter's office and left it at that. We never officially broke up. That was the last time I saw him. (A year later he died while in Iraq... I still feel guilty for how we left things.)
That night I got a call from Ronnie. He wanted to know how I was doing and if he could take me out to dinner. I had a big crush on him by this time and decided no harm would be done by going out with him... just this once.
To be continued...
I was 18. It was May 2002 and we only had about a month and a half left of our senior year of high school. I had just started dating a guy I that I met earlier during my freshmen year. We had a lot of fun together while we were dating, but I knew he wasn't The One. We both had plans to join the Marine Corps. He was leaving in July and I was leaving next January. During our brief relationship he introduced me to his friend's older brother, Ronnie. Ronnie was constantly flirting with me when we were hanging out at my boyfriend's house. I was attracted to him and really wanted to get to know him better, but I was still with someone else. My boyfriend had started to distance himself from me because he was preparing to leave for boot camp. At the time I didn't understand why. I now realize that's their way to deal with leaving... to make it easier on themselves. Ronnie was giving me the attention I craved.
My boyfriend left for boot camp on July 15th, 2002. He was cold and distant that day. His way to deal with leaving. I was crying. We said our good-byes at the recruiter's office and left it at that. We never officially broke up. That was the last time I saw him. (A year later he died while in Iraq... I still feel guilty for how we left things.)
That night I got a call from Ronnie. He wanted to know how I was doing and if he could take me out to dinner. I had a big crush on him by this time and decided no harm would be done by going out with him... just this once.
To be continued...
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
I know I said that this wasn't going to be updated any more, but I decided that I'm not done with this blog just yet... In my new blog I had started to write about my my previous marriage. I feel that it fits better in this blog. From now on I'll be posting anything that has to do with the past in this one. I'll leave my new blog for my daily life.
Here's what I started saying about the things I plan to write about....
I've been doing some reading over at the blog, The Quest For T. Lately she's been writing about the affair that she had during her marriage to her ex-husband. Reading her words has really made me think about my own situation and what I went through during my marriage to Ron. There's a lot of stuff that I've never told anyone about. There's a lot that even my ex-husband doesn't know about. I'm sure he could say the same thing about me. Our marriage was pretty much doomed from the start. Looking back I can see that now.
At the time I was a naive 18 year old girl who had just graduated high school. He was a 21 year old United States Marine stationed here in San Diego. He had his own apartment... that he shared with his brother and his co-worker. Back then I thought the world of him. He had me fooled. He had us all fooled. I wasn't completely innocent though. That year I had made plenty of mistakes. Mistakes that would truly hurt my mother if she knew about everything I've done in my life.
When I was 17 I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That's a pretty hard time in any persons life to decide to change religions and join a church. It didn't last very long. I still believed in the church doctrine, but I just wasn't ready to fully commit myself to it. So yes, I'm Mormon. I'm very active in the Church now, but during my whole relationship with Ron I wasn't going to church... it was the furthest thing from my mind.
I think I'm ready to talk about everything that's happened. I think it will help me process everything and allow me to really move on with my life. I'm going to be writing about everything from the good times (which were few and far between), sex, our affairs, drugs, drinking... If that's something that you're not comfortable reading about then please don't read. I won't be writing about this stuff every day, but there will be a large portion of my blog that will talk about my past. It's not who I am today, but my past has helped shape me into the person I am now.
I'll type up a few drafts and when I'm ready to share I'll post them... I just thought I should give a fair warning of what may lie ahead.
Here's what I started saying about the things I plan to write about....
I've been doing some reading over at the blog, The Quest For T. Lately she's been writing about the affair that she had during her marriage to her ex-husband. Reading her words has really made me think about my own situation and what I went through during my marriage to Ron. There's a lot of stuff that I've never told anyone about. There's a lot that even my ex-husband doesn't know about. I'm sure he could say the same thing about me. Our marriage was pretty much doomed from the start. Looking back I can see that now.
At the time I was a naive 18 year old girl who had just graduated high school. He was a 21 year old United States Marine stationed here in San Diego. He had his own apartment... that he shared with his brother and his co-worker. Back then I thought the world of him. He had me fooled. He had us all fooled. I wasn't completely innocent though. That year I had made plenty of mistakes. Mistakes that would truly hurt my mother if she knew about everything I've done in my life.
When I was 17 I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That's a pretty hard time in any persons life to decide to change religions and join a church. It didn't last very long. I still believed in the church doctrine, but I just wasn't ready to fully commit myself to it. So yes, I'm Mormon. I'm very active in the Church now, but during my whole relationship with Ron I wasn't going to church... it was the furthest thing from my mind.
I think I'm ready to talk about everything that's happened. I think it will help me process everything and allow me to really move on with my life. I'm going to be writing about everything from the good times (which were few and far between), sex, our affairs, drugs, drinking... If that's something that you're not comfortable reading about then please don't read. I won't be writing about this stuff every day, but there will be a large portion of my blog that will talk about my past. It's not who I am today, but my past has helped shape me into the person I am now.
I'll type up a few drafts and when I'm ready to share I'll post them... I just thought I should give a fair warning of what may lie ahead.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
New Blog Home!
The time has come for me to stop updating this blog... I'm no longer a divorced mommy and I felt like it was time to move on. I hope my readers will come follow me on my new blog.
Happily At Home
Hope to hear from you on there!
Happily At Home
Hope to hear from you on there!
Monday, October 19, 2009
We did it!
Don't have much time to write... We're still unpacking boxes and trying to get in to some sort of routine at our new place. Just wanted to share this picture of all 4 of us on our special night. =)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The Big Move
It's happening tomorrow! :D Tomorrow morning we're getting the keys to our new apartment and we get to start moving our stuff in!! I'm very excited and I can't believe how fast this past week has gone by.
It's gonna be a super busy day.
Ok, I have something to say and I don't think I can hold it in any longer! I guess I'll spill the beans about the other changes I mentioned in my last post... everyone will find out eventually anyway!
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!
Yes, you read that right, Josh and I are getting married tomorrow at 7pm. I know it seems soooo soon. So here's what I wanted to write in my last post about all of this:
After jumping up and down in the excitement of getting an apartment we then realized there was a problem... We made a promise to each other and ourselves that we were going to do things right this time. We've both made mistakes in the past, especially in previous relationships, and we didn't want to make those mistakes again. We're LDS (aka Mormon) and someday we'd like to get sealed together as a family. Living in sin is definitely a step in the wrong direction. So we're doing it...
So that's it. After tomorrow I'll no longer be the divorced mom.... Hmmm... still debating the name change of this blog. We'll see.
I'll be back to post about our lil ceremony/reception as soon as I can get the computer hooked back up. ;) Of course, I think I'll take a mini break from the world wide web to enjoy my new family and the beginning of our lives together.
It's gonna be a super busy day.
Ok, I have something to say and I don't think I can hold it in any longer! I guess I'll spill the beans about the other changes I mentioned in my last post... everyone will find out eventually anyway!
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!
Yes, you read that right, Josh and I are getting married tomorrow at 7pm. I know it seems soooo soon. So here's what I wanted to write in my last post about all of this:
After jumping up and down in the excitement of getting an apartment we then realized there was a problem... We made a promise to each other and ourselves that we were going to do things right this time. We've both made mistakes in the past, especially in previous relationships, and we didn't want to make those mistakes again. We're LDS (aka Mormon) and someday we'd like to get sealed together as a family. Living in sin is definitely a step in the wrong direction. So we're doing it...
So that's it. After tomorrow I'll no longer be the divorced mom.... Hmmm... still debating the name change of this blog. We'll see.
I'll be back to post about our lil ceremony/reception as soon as I can get the computer hooked back up. ;) Of course, I think I'll take a mini break from the world wide web to enjoy my new family and the beginning of our lives together.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Lots and lots of changes! So many in fact that I've been meaning to post something in here, but simply haven't had the time.
This past week my mom came to me and let me know that my sister, brother-in-law and niece were going to be moving into the trailer that her and my step dad have parked in the driveway. They're going through a rough time right now and aren't able to stay in the apartment they live in. My BIL recently got in a dirt bike accident and totally ruined his knee for life. He won't be able to work for at least the next 2-3 months while he heals.
(FYI - For those that don't know, my boys and I ended up living here permanently at my mom & step dad's house after The Ex decided to take a hike. I've been paying rent, cleaning house and doing all the cooking since I moved in...Making it possible for me to work from home and raise my boys.)
Anyway, so with them moving in here and my step dad coming home from working in Vegas for the past year this house will be PACKED. I'm talking, 9 people in a 4 bedroom manufactured house. When I found out what was going on I immediately talked to Josh about it. He had the same concerns I did... All these people in one house.... Only 2 of the 9 people work outside the home (til my step dad starts his next job in Vegas.). That also means there would be 3 kids under 3. My niece is 17 months old. Needless to say, it's going to be a MAD HOUSE in here. Nap times will be a thing of the past. Going to bed at a decent time, forget it.
So Josh and I talked about it. We decided to get our own place. We're in a position financially to get a decent place. He has a good paying, stable job. We planned to do this all in February anyway... Why not move it up several months? That way my sister, BIL and niece don't have to stay the whole winter in a freezing cold trailer. They can move in to the 2 rooms the boys and I are in right now.
So we did it!
We did some apartment searching and found one right away. It was almost as if it fell in to our laps. We were just driving by them and decided to check it out. It was 5:15pm. What were the chances the office would still be open? It was. They were closing at 6. :) They had everything we were looking for and had an apartment available. We filled out an application and we got approved for it yesterday. Move-in day is October 16th!
It's gonna be a super busy week for us. We have 6 days to pack!!
Lots more changes to come, but I'll save those for another post. I'm pretty sure that a certain pair of eyes have found and now read this blog... I promise I'll explain more later! You'll just have to stay tuned! :)
This past week my mom came to me and let me know that my sister, brother-in-law and niece were going to be moving into the trailer that her and my step dad have parked in the driveway. They're going through a rough time right now and aren't able to stay in the apartment they live in. My BIL recently got in a dirt bike accident and totally ruined his knee for life. He won't be able to work for at least the next 2-3 months while he heals.
(FYI - For those that don't know, my boys and I ended up living here permanently at my mom & step dad's house after The Ex decided to take a hike. I've been paying rent, cleaning house and doing all the cooking since I moved in...Making it possible for me to work from home and raise my boys.)
Anyway, so with them moving in here and my step dad coming home from working in Vegas for the past year this house will be PACKED. I'm talking, 9 people in a 4 bedroom manufactured house. When I found out what was going on I immediately talked to Josh about it. He had the same concerns I did... All these people in one house.... Only 2 of the 9 people work outside the home (til my step dad starts his next job in Vegas.). That also means there would be 3 kids under 3. My niece is 17 months old. Needless to say, it's going to be a MAD HOUSE in here. Nap times will be a thing of the past. Going to bed at a decent time, forget it.
So Josh and I talked about it. We decided to get our own place. We're in a position financially to get a decent place. He has a good paying, stable job. We planned to do this all in February anyway... Why not move it up several months? That way my sister, BIL and niece don't have to stay the whole winter in a freezing cold trailer. They can move in to the 2 rooms the boys and I are in right now.
So we did it!
We did some apartment searching and found one right away. It was almost as if it fell in to our laps. We were just driving by them and decided to check it out. It was 5:15pm. What were the chances the office would still be open? It was. They were closing at 6. :) They had everything we were looking for and had an apartment available. We filled out an application and we got approved for it yesterday. Move-in day is October 16th!
It's gonna be a super busy week for us. We have 6 days to pack!!
Lots more changes to come, but I'll save those for another post. I'm pretty sure that a certain pair of eyes have found and now read this blog... I promise I'll explain more later! You'll just have to stay tuned! :)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wordless Wednesday: Josh gets a haircut!
(After posting the bad pics of Josh with his Elvis/Wolverine hair I figured I'd post one after the haircut. I can never get all 3 to look at the camera at once.)Monday, October 5, 2009
Pumpkin Patch
Today the boys and I were invited to the pumpkin patch by our friends Lizz & Frank. It's their oldest daughter's 3rd birthday today. We actually celebrated her birthday this past Saturday, but it was nice to do a little something with them today. After all, I was there to witness her birth.... I was 32 weeks pregnant at the time with C. I'll never forget that year....
Anyway, we had fun spending time with them. WARNING: Picture overload!
No idea where that tongue came from...
He wasn't too sure at first...
He came around though. That face says it all. :)
Mr. Blue eyes.
Josh, I love you, but you need a hair cut!
Me and my lil man. :) I need more pics of me and the boys... I'm always the one behind the camera though!
Ok this slide was ridiculous! The toddlers took it like champs though. I went on it once.... I had to be talked into it. I HATE heights! When you're on this thing it's seriously straight up and down. I don't know how my 2 yr old handled it, but he LOVED it!
There he goes!
Anyway, we had fun spending time with them. WARNING: Picture overload!
No idea where that tongue came from...
He wasn't too sure at first...
He came around though. That face says it all. :)
Mr. Blue eyes.
Josh, I love you, but you need a hair cut!
Me and my lil man. :) I need more pics of me and the boys... I'm always the one behind the camera though!
Ok this slide was ridiculous! The toddlers took it like champs though. I went on it once.... I had to be talked into it. I HATE heights! When you're on this thing it's seriously straight up and down. I don't know how my 2 yr old handled it, but he LOVED it!
There he goes!
Easy Ground Beef Stroganoff Recipe
I found this recipe several years ago and it's been a hit with everyone who has ever tasted it. It's super easy to make - only 5 ingredients. It's also easy on the budget. I made this the first time Josh came over to our house. He's been around ever since. LOL. I don't know if it's my cooking or me that he keeps coming back for. ;)
I made this last night for dinner and took a few pictures. Here's the recipe:
I made this last night for dinner and took a few pictures. Here's the recipe:
- 1 pound lean ground beef (turkey or chicken)
- 1 onion, chopped (3/4 to 1 cup)
- 1 cup celery, chopped (2-3 stalks)
- 1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup (I actually use 2 cans)
- 1 cup low fat sour cream or yogurt (I like to use 2 cups of sour cream)
In a medium sized skillet saute onion and celery in about 1 tablespoon olive oil until tender.
In same skillet add ground beef and brown. Drain off fat.
Add soup and sour cream. Stir all together until meat is well coated. Heat thoroughly.
Serve over rice, noodles, crispy fried potatoes... it's good on lots of stuff.... I prefer rice. I usually make some in my rice cooker, but last night I cheated and used boil in a bag rice.
Ta-da! (Not much to look at, but it was really yummy!)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The possibilities are endless
If you haven't heard yet, Josh and I plan to get married on February 20th of next year. I know that seems so soon, but when you find the right person you just know. He's everything I've ever wanted in a life partner. He loves my boys and treats them as if they were his own. He's very protective of us and wants nothing but the best for all 3 of us. He loves that I cook dinner every night, that I clean house and I take care of my kids. When he gets off work he wants to do nothing more than to come over and spend time with us. Doesn't matter what we're doing he just wants to be with us. Josh doesn't drink or smoke. He doesn't like to go out to bars or party every weekend. He's a hard working man who just wants to come home to a warm, home cooked meal and enjoy an evening with his wife and kids. Sad to say, but I never experienced any of that in my marriage to Ron. Thinking about that makes me even more thankful for Josh. (Hmm... would I have to rename my blog, The Re-Married Mom?)Soooo... Tonight we were over at Lizz (my BFF) & Frank's house. They're the ones who are moving back to St. Louis in November. They have 2 daughters who are almost the exact age my 2 boys are. I've mentioned this before, but Lizz is truly my best friend. In the past 3 years we've gone through the deployments of our husbands, births of all our babies (Do we really have 4 kids between us now?!), all the crap I went through in my marriage... and then divorce. We've been there for each other through everything you can imagine. Sure there were times when we wouldn't hang out as much. Sometimes we'd let 2-3 weeks go by without saying a word to each other. After those 2-3 weeks went by we'd always pick back up right where we left off without skipping a beat.
Ok I'm getting way off track here...
So Josh, the boys and I went over to their house to drop off some boxes and to hang out. We started talking about Josh & I seriously moving to St. Louis, MO so that we could all still be together. Is that totally crazy? Follow your best friend and her family to MO just because we'd miss each other THAT much. Maybe. But why not? There's nothing here in San Diego that is holding us back. The boys' bio dad no longer lives here. My mom and step dad plan to move to Utah in a few years and my dad and step mom will probably end up moving to Idaho. Josh has no problem living so far away from his mom and dad. In his line of work (HVAC installation/repair/tech) he could probably make a better living in MO.
Ok, I admit that I will REALLY miss living by the ocean. I'll miss my family that will still be here and all of my old friends. I'll probably even miss the 70-80 degree year round weather. (Even though I'm always complaining about how hot it is in the winter time!)
What I WON'T miss are the ridiculous home prices and gas prices out here. I think that's one of the major factors in our decision to move. Sure we could stay out here and live pay check to pay check while living in some crappy lil 3 bedroom apartment for $1300 a month. (AND THAT'S CHEAP OUT HERE!) If we did decide to buy a house here in SD our only real option would be a mobile home/manufactured home that sits in a mobile home park. No yard, no land, neighbors that live waaaay too close to you. Don't get me wrong... nothing against these kind of homes. I grew up in one... I'm actually sitting in my mom's manufactured home right now.
We could do better though.
We could get out of SD and move some place where we could afford a nice 4 bedroom house with a big backyard for the kids to play in... and why not do it where we already have friends who know the area? I suppose it doesn't necessarily have to be St. Louis... we would make friends any where we go....
Like I said, the possibilities are endless.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Last day of September
Maybe I should do a little recap on September and set some goals for myself in October.
Let's see...
September recap:
Let's see...
September recap:
- Heard from the ex for the 1st time since he deployed to Japan.
- Went to my first Charger game with Josh on Sept. 4th. (Official date #8)
- My baby turned 8 months old and started cruising around furniture.
- My 2 year old learned how to ride a bike with training wheels.
- Spent waaaay too much money and managed to leave $0.21 in my checking account til payday on the 1st. A used double jogging stroller put me over the edge!
- Visited with friends I haven't seen in awhile.
- Visited with family I haven't seen in awhile.
- Lowered my cell phone minutes and cut out the internet to save $50 a month!
- All of us got colds and still trying to get over them.
October goals/things to do:
- Set a budget for myself.
- Put at least $50 in to savings and LEAVE IT THERE!
- No fast food! There's plenty of food at home to eat.
- Exercise at least 30 - 60 minutes a day. Gotta put that expensive jogging stroller to use!
- Spend as much time as I can with my BFF who is leaving to St. Louis, MO on November 1st.
- Meet up with my Aunt to go over wedding details. Thinking about doing something small in her back yard.
- ROAD TRIP to El Paso, TX to visit with the boys' paternal grandparents.
- Work on my Cafepress store. Get Christmas stuff made this month!
- Work with my 2 year old on potty training!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Ouch, that stung just a little.
My ex mother-in-law (actually Ron's step mom) just told me over the phone that all these years she thought it was because of me that Ron didn't visit her and his dad. She thought it was because of me that she never met C. in person. She thought I was telling him that we couldn't go or that I didn't WANT to go.
Really? Ouch.
My ex MIL has actually been wonderful to me through this whole thing. She was there for me backing me up in the very beginning when my ex called me up from Florida to tell me that he wanted a divorce. She has been nothing but supportive towards me. It's because of how great her and my ex FIL have been that I'm driving all the way to El Paso, TX to let them visit with their grandsons. Grandsons who they've never seen other than in pictures... and if it were left up to Ron they'd never have the chance to meet them.
I was calling her to confirm the dates and let them know that yes, we are actually coming. She seems very grateful that Josh and I are doing this. I think that's why she told me about what she thought of me all these years. She realized that she was wrong... and she actually apologized to me for thinking that about me. I'm not gonna hold it against her. I think she realizes now just how messed up in the head Ron is. She knows that if she's gonna have any chance at all to get to know her grandsons it's gonna be to go through me.
Such a sharp contrast to Ron's biological mom.
Susie.
She got back in touch with me a couple days ago. I should have known better than to trust that she's changed. She's STILL denying that she did anything wrong. I wasn't even going to talk about the past with her. I've moved on. Apparently she hasn't. She just HAD to message me and let me know her side of the story once more. Drop it already will you?!
I promised Josh that I wouldn't talk to her any more. She creates nothing but drama and I really don't need that in my life. She can go back to getting her updates & pictures of the boys from Ron... LOL.
Really? Ouch.
My ex MIL has actually been wonderful to me through this whole thing. She was there for me backing me up in the very beginning when my ex called me up from Florida to tell me that he wanted a divorce. She has been nothing but supportive towards me. It's because of how great her and my ex FIL have been that I'm driving all the way to El Paso, TX to let them visit with their grandsons. Grandsons who they've never seen other than in pictures... and if it were left up to Ron they'd never have the chance to meet them.
I was calling her to confirm the dates and let them know that yes, we are actually coming. She seems very grateful that Josh and I are doing this. I think that's why she told me about what she thought of me all these years. She realized that she was wrong... and she actually apologized to me for thinking that about me. I'm not gonna hold it against her. I think she realizes now just how messed up in the head Ron is. She knows that if she's gonna have any chance at all to get to know her grandsons it's gonna be to go through me.
Such a sharp contrast to Ron's biological mom.
Susie.
She got back in touch with me a couple days ago. I should have known better than to trust that she's changed. She's STILL denying that she did anything wrong. I wasn't even going to talk about the past with her. I've moved on. Apparently she hasn't. She just HAD to message me and let me know her side of the story once more. Drop it already will you?!
I promised Josh that I wouldn't talk to her any more. She creates nothing but drama and I really don't need that in my life. She can go back to getting her updates & pictures of the boys from Ron... LOL.
2+ Months Later...
Got a phone call from Ron on the 4th of this month. He called to let me know his number in Japan. Hmmm.... I'm pretty sure it says in our divorce papers that when you move or change your number you're supposed to inform the other parent within 48 hours. It had definitely been 2 months since he deployed to Japan. He claims to have tried to e-mail me when he first arrived. Sure you did.... My e-mail hasn't changed in the past 3 years. His hasn't changed his either so I decided to e-mail him some updates on the boys. I even sent him a picture of the boys that I took of them in July.
Why did I even bother?
I got no response. Not even a, 'thank for the picture." or "wow, they're getting so big!"
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
A few days later that same picture ended up on New Wife's myspace page in a new album titled, "All Our Boys". I'm sorry, but that doesn't fly with me. You've never met my kids and probably never will. Please don't post pictures of my boys as if they're yours and you love and care about them. I was pretty upset when I saw it, but I wrote the nicest (well, in my opinion) e-mail to both my ex and New Wife.
The e-mail:
Hey Ron,
I'm writing to you about the picture I sent you the other day... I was wondering if you could ask New Wife (name changed to protect the innocent lol) to please take it off of her myspace page. (If your mom has it up can you ask her to the same?) I sent that to you so you could see how big they were getting. I don't mind if you sent it to her to look at... you do what you want, but I'd rather not have the boys pictures up on other peoples pages. I know how you feel about posting crap on myspace and other sites like that. Thanks for understanding.
-T
Lol I guess that second to the last sentence is kinda funny considering the fact that here I am posting it for who ever to see on my blog. And maybe I shouldn't be so petty about things. A friend helped put things in perspective for me. They can do what they want with the pictures. They can say and do what they want on their Myspace of Facebook pages. I'm the one with the boys. I'm the one who gets the hugs and kisses everyday. I get to tuck them in at night knowing that their safe and sound with me.
Ok so call me petty. It still bugs me.
Oh did I mention that in her about me section she wrote something like, "I'm 28 years old. I'm the mom of 5 boys and I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world. Life is best when I'm with him. Come home soon daddy!" Puke. So yeah apparently she has 5 boys... She's given birth to 2. She's including Tre, Ron's oldest who she's never met and MY 2 boys. Ok lady, keep living in your fantasy land. Do it while you can... before Ron moves on to New Wife #4 and leaves you in the dust. Just like he did to New Wife #1 (and son #1), New Wife #2 (me and son #2 & #3).
Anyway, mission accomplished. I got an e-mail back saying, "Done and done. Anything else I can do for you ma'am." Ugh. Always the smartass. I thanked him and left it at that.
Haven't heard from him since.
Why did I even bother?
I got no response. Not even a, 'thank for the picture." or "wow, they're getting so big!"
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
A few days later that same picture ended up on New Wife's myspace page in a new album titled, "All Our Boys". I'm sorry, but that doesn't fly with me. You've never met my kids and probably never will. Please don't post pictures of my boys as if they're yours and you love and care about them. I was pretty upset when I saw it, but I wrote the nicest (well, in my opinion) e-mail to both my ex and New Wife.
The e-mail:
Hey Ron,
I'm writing to you about the picture I sent you the other day... I was wondering if you could ask New Wife (name changed to protect the innocent lol) to please take it off of her myspace page. (If your mom has it up can you ask her to the same?) I sent that to you so you could see how big they were getting. I don't mind if you sent it to her to look at... you do what you want, but I'd rather not have the boys pictures up on other peoples pages. I know how you feel about posting crap on myspace and other sites like that. Thanks for understanding.
-T
Lol I guess that second to the last sentence is kinda funny considering the fact that here I am posting it for who ever to see on my blog. And maybe I shouldn't be so petty about things. A friend helped put things in perspective for me. They can do what they want with the pictures. They can say and do what they want on their Myspace of Facebook pages. I'm the one with the boys. I'm the one who gets the hugs and kisses everyday. I get to tuck them in at night knowing that their safe and sound with me.
Ok so call me petty. It still bugs me.
Oh did I mention that in her about me section she wrote something like, "I'm 28 years old. I'm the mom of 5 boys and I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world. Life is best when I'm with him. Come home soon daddy!" Puke. So yeah apparently she has 5 boys... She's given birth to 2. She's including Tre, Ron's oldest who she's never met and MY 2 boys. Ok lady, keep living in your fantasy land. Do it while you can... before Ron moves on to New Wife #4 and leaves you in the dust. Just like he did to New Wife #1 (and son #1), New Wife #2 (me and son #2 & #3).
Anyway, mission accomplished. I got an e-mail back saying, "Done and done. Anything else I can do for you ma'am." Ugh. Always the smartass. I thanked him and left it at that.
Haven't heard from him since.
Random Divorced Mom Blog
Came across this blog tonight.
Just spent the past hour or so reading it.
Different divorce situation than mine.
It actually sounds a lot like what I went through as a kid when my mom and dad got a divorce.
Very thankful my kids didn't have to go through a custody battle.
Just spent the past hour or so reading it.
Different divorce situation than mine.
It actually sounds a lot like what I went through as a kid when my mom and dad got a divorce.
Very thankful my kids didn't have to go through a custody battle.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
PSP Masks
I decided to get creative today and I came up with these masks for PSP. I figured I might as well share them with everyone. These are the first ones I've ever made and they're kinda crazy looking, but I like them.
I'm making them free for personal use. These are not to be used for commercial use what so ever. Credit isn't needed, but if you take them a comment left on this post would be nice. :)
Click on them to make them larger. When they're full size just right-click and save them to your Mask folder. If you have any questions, just ask!
I'm making them free for personal use. These are not to be used for commercial use what so ever. Credit isn't needed, but if you take them a comment left on this post would be nice. :)
Click on them to make them larger. When they're full size just right-click and save them to your Mask folder. If you have any questions, just ask!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Road Trips!
Like I mentioned yesterday, I've been really busy all Summer. Lot's of stuff has happened and I wish I could squeeze all the updates in to one blog. I'm sure I could if I tried, but I doubt anyone would want to read it. I'm sure if I can remember to write in here everyday a little bit will be talked about everyday.
Lately Josh and I have been talking a lot about the near future. Our wedding date is February 20th, 2010 and we're still not exactly sure where we're going to be living once we're married. We're not even sure we want to stay here in SD. We've talked about a couple different places we might like to live. Two places that stand out are Tucson, AZ and St. Louis, MO. Two VERY different places! We have our reasons for each place.
In Tucson is where one of Josh's good friends from his mission lives with his wife and their kids. Tucson would be a great place to live as far as Josh's line of work. He works in heating and air. (HVAC installer/tech)
Then there's St. Louis... my best friend, her hubby and their 2 girls are from there and they're moving back there on November 1st. Her hubby is getting out of the Marine Corps and he can't re-enlist because his ankle is really messed up. She's been my best friend for the past 3+ years. She's been through the ups and downs of my previous marriage. Been there for the births of my babies. She was there through my divorce. She's also been here for the newest chapter of my life. Her older daughter and my oldest son are the best of friends. Basically I can't imagine my life without them in it. She's always lived right up the street from me and I could always come over when ever just to hang out. Would it be totally crazy to follow them halfway across the US? Hmm... maybe. Until you start to compare home prices!
Decisions, decisions.
We plan to take road trips to both places before we get married. First stop will be Tucson. Well, more like a pit stop... We're actually headed to El Paso, TX. Why would we want to go there you ask? Well, they boys' paternal grandparents live there. Ron's dad and step mom. They've never met the boys and I think they deserve to see their grandsons. They've stuck up for me from the beginning.... when they knew their son was in the wrong. (Unlike some other people I know.. cough cough... HIS BIO MOM.... cough cough.) So we'll be headed there at the end of October. Tucson, AZ is right on the way.
We'll see how this road trip goes before we start planning for the one to St. Louis.
Lately Josh and I have been talking a lot about the near future. Our wedding date is February 20th, 2010 and we're still not exactly sure where we're going to be living once we're married. We're not even sure we want to stay here in SD. We've talked about a couple different places we might like to live. Two places that stand out are Tucson, AZ and St. Louis, MO. Two VERY different places! We have our reasons for each place.
In Tucson is where one of Josh's good friends from his mission lives with his wife and their kids. Tucson would be a great place to live as far as Josh's line of work. He works in heating and air. (HVAC installer/tech)
Then there's St. Louis... my best friend, her hubby and their 2 girls are from there and they're moving back there on November 1st. Her hubby is getting out of the Marine Corps and he can't re-enlist because his ankle is really messed up. She's been my best friend for the past 3+ years. She's been through the ups and downs of my previous marriage. Been there for the births of my babies. She was there through my divorce. She's also been here for the newest chapter of my life. Her older daughter and my oldest son are the best of friends. Basically I can't imagine my life without them in it. She's always lived right up the street from me and I could always come over when ever just to hang out. Would it be totally crazy to follow them halfway across the US? Hmm... maybe. Until you start to compare home prices!
Decisions, decisions.
We plan to take road trips to both places before we get married. First stop will be Tucson. Well, more like a pit stop... We're actually headed to El Paso, TX. Why would we want to go there you ask? Well, they boys' paternal grandparents live there. Ron's dad and step mom. They've never met the boys and I think they deserve to see their grandsons. They've stuck up for me from the beginning.... when they knew their son was in the wrong. (Unlike some other people I know.. cough cough... HIS BIO MOM.... cough cough.) So we'll be headed there at the end of October. Tucson, AZ is right on the way.
We'll see how this road trip goes before we start planning for the one to St. Louis.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Where Did the Summer Go?!
Seriously, I blinked and it was gone! It's already the end of September and October will be here by next Thursday...
I've been soooo busy with my boys, with Josh...with LIFE. I feel like I'm going and going. Especially since the boys are getting older and I'm able to have a little bit more free time during the days. I'm FINALLY able to get back in to the things I used to do when I didn't have any kids. Knitting, scrapbooking, graphic design.
Mainly I've been working on my Cafepress store. I started my store back in March 2006 and it's geared towards military families... wives, girlfriends, fiancees, kids, etc. I've added tons of new designs. I started a facebook page for it. I made a new logo. I made tons of freebie icons and graphics. I'm also planning to change the name of it soon... Not sure when that will be. If anyone is interested you can find my store here: Taylor's Military Designs... and More.
Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in some blogging time every now and then too. :)
I've been soooo busy with my boys, with Josh...with LIFE. I feel like I'm going and going. Especially since the boys are getting older and I'm able to have a little bit more free time during the days. I'm FINALLY able to get back in to the things I used to do when I didn't have any kids. Knitting, scrapbooking, graphic design.
Mainly I've been working on my Cafepress store. I started my store back in March 2006 and it's geared towards military families... wives, girlfriends, fiancees, kids, etc. I've added tons of new designs. I started a facebook page for it. I made a new logo. I made tons of freebie icons and graphics. I'm also planning to change the name of it soon... Not sure when that will be. If anyone is interested you can find my store here: Taylor's Military Designs... and More.
Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in some blogging time every now and then too. :)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Very interesting:
Research has found that people who score high on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory are more likely to cheat and game-play in relationships, take more resources for themselves and leave fewer resources for others, value material... things and like looking at themselves in the mirror.
Wow. This is my ex in a nutshell...
I think I'll research this more when I get the time.
Research has found that people who score high on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory are more likely to cheat and game-play in relationships, take more resources for themselves and leave fewer resources for others, value material... things and like looking at themselves in the mirror.
Wow. This is my ex in a nutshell...
I think I'll research this more when I get the time.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Twins?
A few days ago I started putting together a photo album for the grandparents of my boys. Originally I was going to make one just for the Texas grandparents, but it's turning out so cute that I think I'll put together one for myself and one for my parents as well. What I'm doing is putting the boys pictures side by side... one pic for each month of life. For example, the first 2 pics are their newborn pictures. Second set is at one month, etc...
As I was doing this it occured to me just how much my boys look alike! It's almost scary! If they were the same age they could be twins. On of the main differences is that C has blue eyes and more reddish color hair and B has hazel eyes with more blondish hair.
(I'll add pics as soon as the uploader is working right again....)
As I was doing this it occured to me just how much my boys look alike! It's almost scary! If they were the same age they could be twins. On of the main differences is that C has blue eyes and more reddish color hair and B has hazel eyes with more blondish hair.
(I'll add pics as soon as the uploader is working right again....)
Friday, July 31, 2009
Updates on the Ex
For whatever reason I think people feel like they need to inform me on what my ex husband and/or his new wife is up to these days. Quite frankly, I don't really care. I have everything I need and could ever want up to this point in my life. However, here's some things that I've been informed of over the past couple months....
Apparently they got married some time in May... shortly after our divorce was final on April 29th. Nice. So now on paper he was married from October 2000 - December 17th, 2003 to Dana. From December 20th, 2003 - April 29th, 2009 to me. Then from May 2009 - who knows when. Do you see a pattern here? Hmmm....
I was also told by my cousin's husband (who is a Marine as well) that he ran in to Ron at the air port terminal in Iwakuni, Japan. He said he wanted me to know that he's a total fatty now lol. Those were his words...
Then last, but not least I was informed that his new wife had their baby some time in the last 2 weeks. I saw the pictures. Named him Isaac James. (Hate the name. Baby Ike looks NOTHING like Ron's 3 older boys.) Stung just for a second. I think it would have been worse if he was actually IN the pictures... but no, he was in Japan at the time. (That makes baby number 3 that he didn't see come in to this world.) I don't know about you, but I think that's quite a feat... 2 babies born in the same year... 6 months apart. Is the Marine Corps even SEEING this??? He just added B to Tricare in January. Now he's adding this new one in July. Geez. He's a real winner.
Ok enough about him. I just wish I stayed in the dark on most of this stuff. He's no longer apart of any of our lives and I'd like to keep it that way as much as possible.
Apparently they got married some time in May... shortly after our divorce was final on April 29th. Nice. So now on paper he was married from October 2000 - December 17th, 2003 to Dana. From December 20th, 2003 - April 29th, 2009 to me. Then from May 2009 - who knows when. Do you see a pattern here? Hmmm....
I was also told by my cousin's husband (who is a Marine as well) that he ran in to Ron at the air port terminal in Iwakuni, Japan. He said he wanted me to know that he's a total fatty now lol. Those were his words...
Then last, but not least I was informed that his new wife had their baby some time in the last 2 weeks. I saw the pictures. Named him Isaac James. (Hate the name. Baby Ike looks NOTHING like Ron's 3 older boys.) Stung just for a second. I think it would have been worse if he was actually IN the pictures... but no, he was in Japan at the time. (That makes baby number 3 that he didn't see come in to this world.) I don't know about you, but I think that's quite a feat... 2 babies born in the same year... 6 months apart. Is the Marine Corps even SEEING this??? He just added B to Tricare in January. Now he's adding this new one in July. Geez. He's a real winner.
Ok enough about him. I just wish I stayed in the dark on most of this stuff. He's no longer apart of any of our lives and I'd like to keep it that way as much as possible.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Don't judge a book by its cover...
Today we had another great day at the bay... riding jet skis, playing in the sand and sitting around a bon fire talking. We went along with Josh's friends The Wolters again. They're a really fun family and I love hanging out with them! This time there were a few other families there that Josh and I didn't know. One lady in particular made me feel pretty uncomfortable...
While Josh was out playing around on a jet ski I was sitting on the grass playing with my boys. A woman came up to me and introduced herself. She was an older woman.. maybe in her late 30s. (I'm in my mid 20s, but people tell me I look a lot younger.) She asked my name and the boys names. Then she asked how I knew the Wolters. "Oh, my boyfriend is really good friends with them." She then looks at me, looks at my two boys under the age of 3 and says, "Oh.... That's nice." and walks away. She made me feel like I had 2 bastard kids sitting there with me... like I was some teenage mom getting knocked up because I didn't use protection.
Lady, don't judge a book by its cover. Things aren't always what they appear to be. I hate that just because I have 2 kids and I'm not married people seem to look down on me.
It's not fair.
While Josh was out playing around on a jet ski I was sitting on the grass playing with my boys. A woman came up to me and introduced herself. She was an older woman.. maybe in her late 30s. (I'm in my mid 20s, but people tell me I look a lot younger.) She asked my name and the boys names. Then she asked how I knew the Wolters. "Oh, my boyfriend is really good friends with them." She then looks at me, looks at my two boys under the age of 3 and says, "Oh.... That's nice." and walks away. She made me feel like I had 2 bastard kids sitting there with me... like I was some teenage mom getting knocked up because I didn't use protection.
Lady, don't judge a book by its cover. Things aren't always what they appear to be. I hate that just because I have 2 kids and I'm not married people seem to look down on me.
It's not fair.
Promise Ring
Yesterday Josh surprised me by bringing a ring with him when he came over for dinner. I was shocked when I saw this thing! Completely gorgeous! It has a vintage feel with sort of a modern twist to it. It's not an engagement ring... just a promise ring for now. It's one heck of a promise ring though! I told him that he didn't need to get me any other rings because I'm loving this one and I don't ever want to take it off! For now though it has to sit in it's box til we can take it in to get it resized. A size 7 is way too big for my small fingers...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
It's time!
I'm so sick and tired of my clothes not fitting right. Of being tired and not having any energy. Of just being fat! I haven't always been over weight... What I wouldn't give to have my 18 year old body back... and 18 year old me didn't even appreciate the way my body looked back then. Geez, what was I thinking?
This week my mom and I have started walking/jogging in the evenings with the boys in their strollers. I think we have the perfect neighborhood to walk in. It's all hills and we live up at the top. Tonight's walk felt so good! I even ran up the last hill. If I actually keep this up I'm gonna end up having the nicest butt in a few months lol. In addition to walking/jogging I've been doing crunches and lifting 5lb weights every other day. My goal is to be down to 125lbs before B's 1st birthday. So I have til the end of the year. Seems manageable, right?
This week my mom and I have started walking/jogging in the evenings with the boys in their strollers. I think we have the perfect neighborhood to walk in. It's all hills and we live up at the top. Tonight's walk felt so good! I even ran up the last hill. If I actually keep this up I'm gonna end up having the nicest butt in a few months lol. In addition to walking/jogging I've been doing crunches and lifting 5lb weights every other day. My goal is to be down to 125lbs before B's 1st birthday. So I have til the end of the year. Seems manageable, right?Creating new memories
Recently Josh and I have been seriously talking about getting married.... and while he hasn't proposed yet, I know it will most likely happen some time this year. We've been talking a lot about the boys, how we want to raise them and how soon he and I would plan to have another baby. We know it would be best for all 4 of us to wait at least a good 3 years after we get married to bring another baby in the mix. We want to be able to really bond as a family and have lots of good memories of just the 4 of us spending quality time together.
...and we've already started....
Yesterday we took the boys down to the bay along with The Wolters. They brought their jet skis and their kids and we all had a blast!
...and we've already started....
Yesterday we took the boys down to the bay along with The Wolters. They brought their jet skis and their kids and we all had a blast!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Dating With Kids
So I've been thinking about the differences between when I was dating before my marriage to Ron and when I had started dating after my divorce. The big difference? Kids....
When my ex and I were dating we didn't have any kids that we were responsible for. Sure, he had a son, but he lived 300 miles up north with his mom. So dating was easy. It was just the 2 of us. We were able to come and go when we pleased. We never had to worry about finding a sitter. We could get through a whole meal at a restaurant without the sitter (ahem...my mom) calling to ask every 15 min when I'd be home. We were able to go out on numerous dates within a months time. We had all the time in the world to be alone together. (When he and I weren't working of course!) Life was simple. Dating was easy. It was fun.
Then there's dating after my divorce (and 2 kids later).... I've met the man I'd really like to share my life with. He and I can't see each other all the time. We can't really plan dates when we want to because we have to plan them around when we can get either my mom or grandma to watch them. We've been together for over a month now and we just barely had our fourth date. Meaning... we've only been alone 4 times for about 2-3 hours each time. It's just not as easy this time around. Josh and I will never get that... We will never get what Ron and I had. We already have an instant family to take care of. It changes the way you date.
I think I'm a little jealous of the people who got to date their (now) husband, planned a life together, started a family when they wanted to and are still happily married to this day. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade my boys for anything in the whole world... I just wish I had chosen a good husband and father the first time. If I did, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in right now.
All in all, I think Josh and I are making the best of the situation. We take the boys out with us every where. We do fun stuff together like going to the park, the Zoo and Sea World. When we do get that precious alone time, we make the most of it.
When my ex and I were dating we didn't have any kids that we were responsible for. Sure, he had a son, but he lived 300 miles up north with his mom. So dating was easy. It was just the 2 of us. We were able to come and go when we pleased. We never had to worry about finding a sitter. We could get through a whole meal at a restaurant without the sitter (ahem...my mom) calling to ask every 15 min when I'd be home. We were able to go out on numerous dates within a months time. We had all the time in the world to be alone together. (When he and I weren't working of course!) Life was simple. Dating was easy. It was fun.
Then there's dating after my divorce (and 2 kids later).... I've met the man I'd really like to share my life with. He and I can't see each other all the time. We can't really plan dates when we want to because we have to plan them around when we can get either my mom or grandma to watch them. We've been together for over a month now and we just barely had our fourth date. Meaning... we've only been alone 4 times for about 2-3 hours each time. It's just not as easy this time around. Josh and I will never get that... We will never get what Ron and I had. We already have an instant family to take care of. It changes the way you date.
I think I'm a little jealous of the people who got to date their (now) husband, planned a life together, started a family when they wanted to and are still happily married to this day. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade my boys for anything in the whole world... I just wish I had chosen a good husband and father the first time. If I did, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in right now.
All in all, I think Josh and I are making the best of the situation. We take the boys out with us every where. We do fun stuff together like going to the park, the Zoo and Sea World. When we do get that precious alone time, we make the most of it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Where Have I Been?!
Wow, I just realized how long it's been since I last blogged... That picture I put up of B was taken when he was about 2 or 3 weeks old. He's now almost 6 months old! I guess time flies when you're having fun.
So much has happened since January! One of the biggest things to happen was that my divorce became final on April 29th, 2009. The day came and went and I really didn't feel any different. Kind of like when you have a birthday... the day after your birthday you don't actually FEEL like you're any older. I got a lot of people congratulating me on it being final though. It seems kind of an odd thing to me.... A marriage between 2 people who were in love and who had started a family together ends and people are telling me, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DIVORCE. Well, I suppose when you take a look at who I was married to it does make sense.
Another big thing to happen this year is that I started dating again! =) My first several dates after I had B did not impress me at all. Things never went past a first date. Not until I met Josh....
Josh and I met on an LSD singles website. He had been bugging me from the first time we started talking to meet in person. I was a little hesitant at first.... especially after the picture he sent me. The best way I can think to describe it is, he looked like Wolverine from X-Men lol. He had some crazy looking sideburns and some hair that was in desperate need of a haircut. After many days of talking both online and through text messages I decided that we could meet after all. I liked his personality well enough. So he came over to my house and I cooked him a nice dinner. A few days later we went out on our first date. I had the best time of my life on that date. The next day we made things official. We wanted to be with each other and no one else. Things have only gotten better from there! That all happened about 5-6 weeks ago.
I'll post more about Josh and our first date soon. I'm gonna try to keep this updated a lot better from now on. For now I'm off to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open....
So much has happened since January! One of the biggest things to happen was that my divorce became final on April 29th, 2009. The day came and went and I really didn't feel any different. Kind of like when you have a birthday... the day after your birthday you don't actually FEEL like you're any older. I got a lot of people congratulating me on it being final though. It seems kind of an odd thing to me.... A marriage between 2 people who were in love and who had started a family together ends and people are telling me, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DIVORCE. Well, I suppose when you take a look at who I was married to it does make sense.
Another big thing to happen this year is that I started dating again! =) My first several dates after I had B did not impress me at all. Things never went past a first date. Not until I met Josh....
Josh and I met on an LSD singles website. He had been bugging me from the first time we started talking to meet in person. I was a little hesitant at first.... especially after the picture he sent me. The best way I can think to describe it is, he looked like Wolverine from X-Men lol. He had some crazy looking sideburns and some hair that was in desperate need of a haircut. After many days of talking both online and through text messages I decided that we could meet after all. I liked his personality well enough. So he came over to my house and I cooked him a nice dinner. A few days later we went out on our first date. I had the best time of my life on that date. The next day we made things official. We wanted to be with each other and no one else. Things have only gotten better from there! That all happened about 5-6 weeks ago.I'll post more about Josh and our first date soon. I'm gonna try to keep this updated a lot better from now on. For now I'm off to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open....
Friday, January 30, 2009
Update on my babies
Both C and B are doing really well. So far C hasn't shown any signs of jealously towards the new baby. In fact, he loves his little brother... a little too much! lol. He is constantly giving B kisses over and over. Always waving to him and saying hi to him. It's cute the first 5 times he does it, but then I have to get him interested in something else. Otherwise he'll sit there for 5 straight minutes and kiss the top of B's head. As for B, he's doing great! At his 2 day weight check he lost a little too much weight. He got down to 6lbs 6oz (His birth weight was 7lbs 3oz), but that morning my milk had just come in... So when they weighed him the next day he was up 3oz! Then at his 2 week weight check he was 7lbs 7oz. At my WIC appointment next week I'll have him weighed once again just to make sure his weight is still on the upswing... I won't be taking any chances this time around.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
B's Birth Story
While I have a free minute I think I'll finally try to type out B's birth story...
Late morning on Sunday, January 11th I felt the first contraction. It was some time around 10am. I really didn't think anything of it because I had been having contractions all along... so I figured this was just some more annoying Braxton Hicks. About 45 minutes later I felt another one. A short time later another one. I mentioned to my mom that maybe we should start timing these as a just in case. So we timed them.... 30 minutes apart, 13 minutes, 40 minutes, 25 minutes. They were all over the place! The only thing that made me think they COULD BE the real thing was that they were getting more intense. I had to actually stop and breath through these ones! From 3pm to 5pm they were 14 minutes apart... FINALLY some kind of pattern! I called everyone who needed to be called just in case this was the real thing. I still wasn't entirely convinced.
I called up Lizz and told her what was going on. I needed her to take me to the hospital since my mom just got out of the hospital and my dad had left that weekend on a trip to Mexico. She was really excited and was convinced that this was the real thing. To pass the time I made dinner for me, my mom and C. In between making dinner I had to stop to sit down during every contraction. They hurt so bad! Shortly after I finished making dinner Lizz decided to come over. At about 8:30 she convinced me that we should go to the hospital to get checked. Couldn't hurt...
At 9pm I was at the hospital with Lizz by my side. My grandma and grandpa were on their way. When the nurse checked me I was already 7cm!! Holy crap! I was completely surprised by that because my contractions were still about 10 to 14 minutes apart. Hospital policy is that you are not to come in until they're 5 to 10 minutes apart.
They admitted me to the hospital and took me to my labor and delivery room. I told the nurses and doctor that it was my goal to not get the epidural. I wanted to try to do it all natural since I had already made it to 7cm with no help. Shortly after making it to my room my grandparents showed up. After an hour or 2 the contractions were getting closer together and coming on harder and harder! Close to midnight the doctor checked me once again. I was STILL only 7cm. I was gonna go nuts when I heard that!! I thought for SURE I was close to pushing. After that check things started to get really intense. The contractions were getting almost unbearable. My whole body was shaking. I was hot. I was going out of my mind! I BEGGED for the epidural! I kept saying that I couldn't take much more. FINALLY the doctor came in after what seemed like forever... I was shaking even worse... She told me I had 2 choices. I could get my bag of waters ruptured and deliver this baby or I could get the epidural. I wanted the pain over with right then and there so I choose to have the baby! Plus I knew there was no way I could sit still long enough for the epidural to be put in. By the time the bag was ruptured I was 8cm and unfortunately there was meconium in the water...
As soon as my bag was ruptured things moved VERY quickly! Right as the nurse left the room I felt the urge to push... From here things are kinda fuzzy for me. I was out of my mind with pain... I couldn't control the urge to push. I remember my stomach contracted and I felt myself pushing and a gush of water came out. (Ew! lol) I think Lizz and my grandma were freaking out because the nurse wasn't coming back and they weren't answering the call button. After what seemed like forever a ton of people filled the room. I was screaming from the pain. Like screaming on the top of my lungs. My body was pushing the baby out and I couldn't stop myself! The stupid doctor kept yelling at me not to scream, to stop pushing and she kept shoving the baby back inside of me! I guess they were worried about him coming without the pediatrician there. She did this about 5 times. Lizz was ready to kick her ass. lol. They started arguing and I asked them both to stop.
FINALLY I was allowed to push. I think I pushed maybe a total of 5 to 7 times and he was out. As SOON as he was delivered I instantly felt normal again. It was amazing! I felt like super woman. I did it! I did it all on my own! OMG. I just kept saying, 'I did it!' over and over. B had to be cleaned off right after delivery so I didn't get to see him right away like I wanted. Lizz got to cut the remainder of the umbilical cord. (The doctor did the first cut since he had to be rushed over to the table.) While all of this was going on the doctor was stitching me up... taking her sweet time. I swear she did it on purpose!
FINALLY I got to hold my baby! I put him straight to the breast and he he started breastfeeding like a champ. Nothing like C! It was so awesome.
When I was ready to go to my recovery room Lizz (plus her family) and my grandpa went home. My grandma stayed with us.
Ron was updated the entire time, but failed to come to the hospital until B was over 12 hours old. Then he only stayed for about 20 minutes... Doesn't surprise me.
Well, that's my birth story. Nothing like C's, thank goodness. I'll post some updates on B as soon as I can!
Late morning on Sunday, January 11th I felt the first contraction. It was some time around 10am. I really didn't think anything of it because I had been having contractions all along... so I figured this was just some more annoying Braxton Hicks. About 45 minutes later I felt another one. A short time later another one. I mentioned to my mom that maybe we should start timing these as a just in case. So we timed them.... 30 minutes apart, 13 minutes, 40 minutes, 25 minutes. They were all over the place! The only thing that made me think they COULD BE the real thing was that they were getting more intense. I had to actually stop and breath through these ones! From 3pm to 5pm they were 14 minutes apart... FINALLY some kind of pattern! I called everyone who needed to be called just in case this was the real thing. I still wasn't entirely convinced.
I called up Lizz and told her what was going on. I needed her to take me to the hospital since my mom just got out of the hospital and my dad had left that weekend on a trip to Mexico. She was really excited and was convinced that this was the real thing. To pass the time I made dinner for me, my mom and C. In between making dinner I had to stop to sit down during every contraction. They hurt so bad! Shortly after I finished making dinner Lizz decided to come over. At about 8:30 she convinced me that we should go to the hospital to get checked. Couldn't hurt...
At 9pm I was at the hospital with Lizz by my side. My grandma and grandpa were on their way. When the nurse checked me I was already 7cm!! Holy crap! I was completely surprised by that because my contractions were still about 10 to 14 minutes apart. Hospital policy is that you are not to come in until they're 5 to 10 minutes apart.
They admitted me to the hospital and took me to my labor and delivery room. I told the nurses and doctor that it was my goal to not get the epidural. I wanted to try to do it all natural since I had already made it to 7cm with no help. Shortly after making it to my room my grandparents showed up. After an hour or 2 the contractions were getting closer together and coming on harder and harder! Close to midnight the doctor checked me once again. I was STILL only 7cm. I was gonna go nuts when I heard that!! I thought for SURE I was close to pushing. After that check things started to get really intense. The contractions were getting almost unbearable. My whole body was shaking. I was hot. I was going out of my mind! I BEGGED for the epidural! I kept saying that I couldn't take much more. FINALLY the doctor came in after what seemed like forever... I was shaking even worse... She told me I had 2 choices. I could get my bag of waters ruptured and deliver this baby or I could get the epidural. I wanted the pain over with right then and there so I choose to have the baby! Plus I knew there was no way I could sit still long enough for the epidural to be put in. By the time the bag was ruptured I was 8cm and unfortunately there was meconium in the water...
As soon as my bag was ruptured things moved VERY quickly! Right as the nurse left the room I felt the urge to push... From here things are kinda fuzzy for me. I was out of my mind with pain... I couldn't control the urge to push. I remember my stomach contracted and I felt myself pushing and a gush of water came out. (Ew! lol) I think Lizz and my grandma were freaking out because the nurse wasn't coming back and they weren't answering the call button. After what seemed like forever a ton of people filled the room. I was screaming from the pain. Like screaming on the top of my lungs. My body was pushing the baby out and I couldn't stop myself! The stupid doctor kept yelling at me not to scream, to stop pushing and she kept shoving the baby back inside of me! I guess they were worried about him coming without the pediatrician there. She did this about 5 times. Lizz was ready to kick her ass. lol. They started arguing and I asked them both to stop.
FINALLY I was allowed to push. I think I pushed maybe a total of 5 to 7 times and he was out. As SOON as he was delivered I instantly felt normal again. It was amazing! I felt like super woman. I did it! I did it all on my own! OMG. I just kept saying, 'I did it!' over and over. B had to be cleaned off right after delivery so I didn't get to see him right away like I wanted. Lizz got to cut the remainder of the umbilical cord. (The doctor did the first cut since he had to be rushed over to the table.) While all of this was going on the doctor was stitching me up... taking her sweet time. I swear she did it on purpose!
FINALLY I got to hold my baby! I put him straight to the breast and he he started breastfeeding like a champ. Nothing like C! It was so awesome.
When I was ready to go to my recovery room Lizz (plus her family) and my grandpa went home. My grandma stayed with us.
Ron was updated the entire time, but failed to come to the hospital until B was over 12 hours old. Then he only stayed for about 20 minutes... Doesn't surprise me.
Well, that's my birth story. Nothing like C's, thank goodness. I'll post some updates on B as soon as I can!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Baby and Life Updates
Had my 38 week appointment today and I'm 2-3cm dialated already. Thank goodness all this false labor wasn't for nothing!!! I'm so ready for this pregnancy to be over with. Have another appointment with my midwife on Monday for her to check me again and to sweep my membranes... which will hopefully send me in to labor. I'm hoping I won't make it to my appointment though. I'm praying that I go in to labor on my own sometime tonight or this weekend.
In other life news, Ron just doesn't give up. I think he's going for jerk of the year 2 years in a row! Why in the world I called him to give him my baby update I'll never know... Of course when I called him, his b**** was sitting right next to him in the car and he just had to show off in front of her and be a complete a-hole to me. He had the nerve to tell me, "We'll talk about child support and custody issues later." I was completely confused... What in the world is he talking about? I asked him and he said that he has to lower my child support because he won't be able to sustain a decent living out in South Carolina without lowering it. ??????? Are you kidding me?!?!?! You can rent a studio apartment out there for about $300 - $500 a month!!! He went on to tell me that he wants to get base housing. FOR WHO???? His girlfriend and her son?!?!?! She's stationed in CANADA!!!! JIOFHiengwietniuewh t3w5u93 4itnitjwieji! WTF? OMG I'm just so pissed off and upset right now. Why in the world does he have to do this to me right now. I already have enough to deal with as it is! I'm going to be giving birth some time in the next couple weeks. My mom is getting surgery on the 6th which puts her out of work/complete bed rest for 6 weeks. My step dad just got laid off last week... So basically no one in this house will be bringing much income in other than disability and unemployment. I depend on that child support to put food in my son's belly. Food in my body which will soon be feeding an infant. Clothes on their backs. (C. out grows his clothing and shoes about every 6 months. B. will be growing out of stuff about every 2-3 months!) Gas to put in the car to get everyone to their doctors appointments. Insurance to cover me driving my mom's car....
I'm just so done with him....
I'm tired....
When do I get a break?
When can I stop worrying about him making threats to take away child support or threatening to take the kids from me? I'M SO SICK OF THIS! I just want it to be over with already! =(
In other life news, Ron just doesn't give up. I think he's going for jerk of the year 2 years in a row! Why in the world I called him to give him my baby update I'll never know... Of course when I called him, his b**** was sitting right next to him in the car and he just had to show off in front of her and be a complete a-hole to me. He had the nerve to tell me, "We'll talk about child support and custody issues later." I was completely confused... What in the world is he talking about? I asked him and he said that he has to lower my child support because he won't be able to sustain a decent living out in South Carolina without lowering it. ??????? Are you kidding me?!?!?! You can rent a studio apartment out there for about $300 - $500 a month!!! He went on to tell me that he wants to get base housing. FOR WHO???? His girlfriend and her son?!?!?! She's stationed in CANADA!!!! JIOFHiengwietniuewh t3w5u93 4itnitjwieji! WTF? OMG I'm just so pissed off and upset right now. Why in the world does he have to do this to me right now. I already have enough to deal with as it is! I'm going to be giving birth some time in the next couple weeks. My mom is getting surgery on the 6th which puts her out of work/complete bed rest for 6 weeks. My step dad just got laid off last week... So basically no one in this house will be bringing much income in other than disability and unemployment. I depend on that child support to put food in my son's belly. Food in my body which will soon be feeding an infant. Clothes on their backs. (C. out grows his clothing and shoes about every 6 months. B. will be growing out of stuff about every 2-3 months!) Gas to put in the car to get everyone to their doctors appointments. Insurance to cover me driving my mom's car....
I'm just so done with him....
I'm tired....
When do I get a break?
When can I stop worrying about him making threats to take away child support or threatening to take the kids from me? I'M SO SICK OF THIS! I just want it to be over with already! =(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
