Updates on the Ex

For whatever reason I think people feel like they need to inform me on what my ex husband and/or his new wife is up to these days. Quite frankly, I don't really care. I have everything I need and could ever want up to this point in my life. However, here's some things that I've been informed of over the past couple months....

Apparently they got married some time in May... shortly after our divorce was final on April 29th. Nice. So now on paper he was married from October 2000 - December 17th, 2003 to Dana. From December 20th, 2003 - April 29th, 2009 to me. Then from May 2009 - who knows when. Do you see a pattern here? Hmmm....

I was also told by my cousin's husband (who is a Marine as well) that he ran in to Ron at the air port terminal in Iwakuni, Japan. He said he wanted me to know that he's a total fatty now lol. Those were his words...

Then last, but not least I was informed that his new wife had their baby some time in the last 2 weeks. I saw the pictures. Named him Isaac James. (Hate the name. Baby Ike looks NOTHING like Ron's 3 older boys.) Stung just for a second. I think it would have been worse if he was actually IN the pictures... but no, he was in Japan at the time. (That makes baby number 3 that he didn't see come in to this world.) I don't know about you, but I think that's quite a feat... 2 babies born in the same year... 6 months apart. Is the Marine Corps even SEEING this??? He just added B to Tricare in January. Now he's adding this new one in July. Geez. He's a real winner.

Ok enough about him. I just wish I stayed in the dark on most of this stuff. He's no longer apart of any of our lives and I'd like to keep it that way as much as possible.

Don't judge a book by its cover...

Today we had another great day at the bay... riding jet skis, playing in the sand and sitting around a bon fire talking. We went along with Josh's friends The Wolters again. They're a really fun family and I love hanging out with them! This time there were a few other families there that Josh and I didn't know. One lady in particular made me feel pretty uncomfortable...

While Josh was out playing around on a jet ski I was sitting on the grass playing with my boys. A woman came up to me and introduced herself. She was an older woman.. maybe in her late 30s. (I'm in my mid 20s, but people tell me I look a lot younger.) She asked my name and the boys names. Then she asked how I knew the Wolters. "Oh, my boyfriend is really good friends with them." She then looks at me, looks at my two boys under the age of 3 and says, "Oh.... That's nice." and walks away. She made me feel like I had 2 bastard kids sitting there with me... like I was some teenage mom getting knocked up because I didn't use protection.

Lady, don't judge a book by its cover. Things aren't always what they appear to be. I hate that just because I have 2 kids and I'm not married people seem to look down on me.

It's not fair.

Promise Ring

Yesterday Josh surprised me by bringing a ring with him when he came over for dinner. I was shocked when I saw this thing! Completely gorgeous! It has a vintage feel with sort of a modern twist to it. It's not an engagement ring... just a promise ring for now. It's one heck of a promise ring though! I told him that he didn't need to get me any other rings because I'm loving this one and I don't ever want to take it off! For now though it has to sit in it's box til we can take it in to get it resized. A size 7 is way too big for my small fingers...

It's time!

I'm so sick and tired of my clothes not fitting right. Of being tired and not having any energy. Of just being fat! I haven't always been over weight... What I wouldn't give to have my 18 year old body back... and 18 year old me didn't even appreciate the way my body looked back then. Geez, what was I thinking?

This week my mom and I have started walking/jogging in the evenings with the boys in their strollers. I think we have the perfect neighborhood to walk in. It's all hills and we live up at the top. Tonight's walk felt so good! I even ran up the last hill. If I actually keep this up I'm gonna end up having the nicest butt in a few months lol. In addition to walking/jogging I've been doing crunches and lifting 5lb weights every other day. My goal is to be down to 125lbs before B's 1st birthday. So I have til the end of the year. Seems manageable, right?

Creating new memories

Recently Josh and I have been seriously talking about getting married.... and while he hasn't proposed yet, I know it will most likely happen some time this year. We've been talking a lot about the boys, how we want to raise them and how soon he and I would plan to have another baby. We know it would be best for all 4 of us to wait at least a good 3 years after we get married to bring another baby in the mix. We want to be able to really bond as a family and have lots of good memories of just the 4 of us spending quality time together.

...and we've already started....

Yesterday we took the boys down to the bay along with The Wolters. They brought their jet skis and their kids and we all had a blast!

Dating With Kids

So I've been thinking about the differences between when I was dating before my marriage to Ron and when I had started dating after my divorce. The big difference? Kids....

When my ex and I were dating we didn't have any kids that we were responsible for. Sure, he had a son, but he lived 300 miles up north with his mom. So dating was easy. It was just the 2 of us. We were able to come and go when we pleased. We never had to worry about finding a sitter. We could get through a whole meal at a restaurant without the sitter (ahem...my mom) calling to ask every 15 min when I'd be home. We were able to go out on numerous dates within a months time. We had all the time in the world to be alone together. (When he and I weren't working of course!) Life was simple. Dating was easy. It was fun.

Then there's dating after my divorce (and 2 kids later).... I've met the man I'd really like to share my life with. He and I can't see each other all the time. We can't really plan dates when we want to because we have to plan them around when we can get either my mom or grandma to watch them. We've been together for over a month now and we just barely had our fourth date. Meaning... we've only been alone 4 times for about 2-3 hours each time. It's just not as easy this time around. Josh and I will never get that... We will never get what Ron and I had. We already have an instant family to take care of. It changes the way you date.

I think I'm a little jealous of the people who got to date their (now) husband, planned a life together, started a family when they wanted to and are still happily married to this day. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade my boys for anything in the whole world... I just wish I had chosen a good husband and father the first time. If I did, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in right now.

All in all, I think Josh and I are making the best of the situation. We take the boys out with us every where. We do fun stuff together like going to the park, the Zoo and Sea World. When we do get that precious alone time, we make the most of it.

Where Have I Been?!

Wow, I just realized how long it's been since I last blogged... That picture I put up of B was taken when he was about 2 or 3 weeks old. He's now almost 6 months old! I guess time flies when you're having fun.

So much has happened since January! One of the biggest things to happen was that my divorce became final on April 29th, 2009. The day came and went and I really didn't feel any different. Kind of like when you have a birthday... the day after your birthday you don't actually FEEL like you're any older. I got a lot of people congratulating me on it being final though. It seems kind of an odd thing to me.... A marriage between 2 people who were in love and who had started a family together ends and people are telling me, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DIVORCE. Well, I suppose when you take a look at who I was married to it does make sense.

Another big thing to happen this year is that I started dating again! =) My first several dates after I had B did not impress me at all. Things never went past a first date. Not until I met Josh....

Josh and I met on an LSD singles website. He had been bugging me from the first time we started talking to meet in person. I was a little hesitant at first.... especially after the picture he sent me. The best way I can think to describe it is, he looked like Wolverine from X-Men lol. He had some crazy looking sideburns and some hair that was in desperate need of a haircut. After many days of talking both online and through text messages I decided that we could meet after all. I liked his personality well enough. So he came over to my house and I cooked him a nice dinner. A few days later we went out on our first date. I had the best time of my life on that date. The next day we made things official. We wanted to be with each other and no one else. Things have only gotten better from there! That all happened about 5-6 weeks ago.

I'll post more about Josh and our first date soon. I'm gonna try to keep this updated a lot better from now on. For now I'm off to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open....