April 2005 -
One night after work I got a phone call from a guy friend of mine. He asked me if I wanted to come hang out with him and some of his friends at his apartment. I wasn't interested in him at all other than as a friend. He knew that. He also knew that I was married. Despite that, I'm pretty sure he had a little crush on me. I'm not gonna lie, I liked the attention at the time. I wasn't getting any attention from my husband and I was craving it. So I went. I knew I shouldn't have. I was a married woman... even if I could feel my husband pulling away from me. I remember that I actually tried to get out of it by saying that I didn't feel like driving... Should have come up with a better excuse. He offered to pick me up.
When we get to the apartment I can see why he invited me over. It was a bunch of guys hanging out. They wanted some girls there. There was one other female there, but she was with one of the guys and she was nothing but loud, obnoxious and annoying. When her and some of the other guys decided to take off some where, the rest of us were relieved.
Around the time the loud girl and her friends left I noticed someone else there. It was a guy I went to high school with who always seems to show up out of no where a few times a year. I can't stand this guy! Great... As soon as he spots me he comes over to where I'm sitting on the couch and starts talking to me like we're old friends. He's had a thing for me since 9th grade. I tried my best to be polite, but at the same time I was trying to find a reason not to talk to him. I was saved when he got up to smoke outside with some of his friends.
While they were outside smoking a guy came up and sat down next to me on the couch. I thought he was pretty cute. He introduced himself to me as Kyle and told me that he noticed how thrilled I looked to talk to the guy who went outside. He offered to save me from him. (Thank you!) I definitely didn't mind him saving me. He seemed like a fun guy to talk to. He was friendly, good looking and he seemed interested in me. I don't even know when the guys came back inside from smoking. Kyle and I were too interested in our conversation with each other. Towards the end of the night Kyle asked to see my cell phone. I didn't know what he was going to do, but I gave it to him. He put in a phone number and gave it back to me. Confused, I asked him, "What's this?" He told me that it was his number and that I should put mine in his phone. I don't even know what made me do it. I think I was just enjoying the attention that he was showing me. What harm could come from exchanging numbers? It wasn't like I was going to call him.
Some time after midnight the same friend who picked me up took me home. Kyle and the stalker guy came along for the ride.
As soon as I got inside I got a text from Kyle... Oh great, what did I do now? ...He let me know that he had fun talking to me and he hoped to talk to me again soon. Oh no. I knew I should have cut it off right then and there, but he knew I was married and off limits. What harm could come from being just friends?
Kyle called me the next night when I got off work. ...I don't even know how it happened. Suddenly our phone conversation turned into us hanging out. I drove over to his house and picked him up. I knew what I was doing. I didn't care. I hadn't heard from my husband in weeks. I was just making new friends... No harm in that, right? I had no intention of taking things further than some innocent flirting... so why not hang out with my new friend?
I remember our ride back to my apartment. On the inside I was nervous, giddy and had butterflies in my stomach... I hadn't felt like that in a long time and I didn't want it to end. On the outside I was confident and flirty. I felt like I was in total control of the situation. I liked knowing that this guy was interested in me and I loved the power that came with that.
On the way up the steps to my apartment I turned to Kyle and jokingly said, "We can hang out, but you just have to do one thing for me... Promise me that you won't fall in love."
To be continued...
I know I said that this wasn't going to be updated any more, but I decided that I'm not done with this blog just yet... In my new blog I had started to write about my my previous marriage. I feel that it fits better in this blog. From now on I'll be posting anything that has to do with the past in this one. I'll leave my new blog for my daily life.