Deployment and Cheating, Part 3

May/June 2005 -

Ronnie: So who is he?
Me: Who is who? What are you talking about?
Ronnie: I know you've been talking to someone online. What the F*^% are you doing with Kevin?
Me: Kevin? The only Kevin I know is the one I went to high school with... and I definitely haven't been talking to him. And what do you mean I'm talking to people online? Who told you that??! I haven't been talking to anyone online. I want to know who told you this because they're lying to you!
Ronnie: Don't worry about who told me. Just know that I know and S**t needs to stop NOW.

That was the conversation we had one day before I started work. I don't know where in the world Ronnie was at the time. Probably Greece or maybe Dubai... His deployment was more than half over and he was supposed to be returning in July. Most of our conversations sounded like this... Him accusing me of something and me either defending myself or just getting angry with him. A lot of the time I laughed at the accusations because they were so far off. Who was telling him I was talking to people online??

I was definitely seeing someone, but I never once talked to him online and his name was Kyle, not Kevin.

Kyle spent the night at my apartment that first night and pretty much never left. Our relationship started off pretty innocently despite how it sounds. He slept on the couch for awhile... Kyle and I just really, truly enjoyed hanging out with each other. He allowed me to be myself around him... Something I hadn't felt with someone in a few years. I was having fun. I was laughing and enjoying my life again. It felt good.

Kyle knew a lot of people. A LOT of people. Slowly, but surely his friends were becoming my friends. I loved hanging out with them and they all thought I was a cool chick. I was made even cooler because I was 21 and they were all 19 and 20... I could buy us alcohol... and I did. I spent so much money on alcohol it was pretty ridiculous looking back on it now. I never used Ronnie's money for it though. (He was doing a good job of that himself... spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on alcohol and food while in port.) No, I had my own money during this time. I was working part time as a front end supervisor at Michaels. I didn't make tons of money, but it was enough for me. (Thinking back I can't even remember how we managed to pay bills during this time.)

We were partying every weekend... I supplied the drinks. We were smoking weed everyday... Kyle had lots of hook-ups. Kyle moved from the couch to my bed after one night of partying. We were falling for each other fast. I knew in my head that nothing would ever come of this relationship... I didn't care though. I wasn't thinking of the future. I was living in the present for once and it was addicting. Each day was different and fun. We were making things up as we went along. My hours at work were slowing down so we had plenty of free time. We went to parties. We hung out at the beach. We were just having fun... living for the moment.

One night we decided to have a party at my apartment. There weren't a ton of people that came, but there were enough. We had a fun night. Everyone spent the night in my living room.  In the morning one of the guys that I didn't care for too much decided to whistle at and say vulgar things to one of my apartment managers that walked by. She took offense to it... Later that day I got a notice that I had to either voluntarily move out or they would be forced to evict me. They claimed to have 3 strikes against me and the whistling was the last strike. The first two were bogus claims. She said that some neighbors complained of drug deals going on outside of my apartment. I don't think so! We were smoking weed, but we never had anyone come to the apartment to drop it off! We were always the ones to go pick it up... Second strike? She claims that someone from my apartment broke a water pipe near the swimming pool. Um, seriously? The pool was on the other side of the complex. We never went swimming. We never had a reason to walk past it unless I was walking over there to pay rent. She said she had witnesses to both claims. I had to move.


By this time Ronnie was calling me less and less. We were just going through the motions now. He didn't WANT to call me. As the deployment was coming closer and closer to the end he started talking about divorce....

Deployment and Cheating, Part 2

April 2005 -
One night after work I got a phone call from a guy friend of mine. He asked me if I wanted to come hang out with him and some of his friends at his apartment. I wasn't interested in him at all other than as a friend. He knew that. He also knew that I was married. Despite that, I'm pretty sure he had a little crush on me. I'm not gonna lie, I liked the attention at the time. I wasn't getting any attention from my husband and I was craving it. So I went. I knew I shouldn't have. I was a married woman... even if I could feel my husband pulling away from me. I remember that I actually tried to get out of it by saying that I didn't feel like driving... Should have come up with a better excuse. He offered to pick me up.

When we get to the apartment I can see why he invited me over. It was a bunch of guys hanging out. They wanted some girls there. There was one other female there, but she was with one of the guys and she was nothing but loud, obnoxious and annoying. When her and some of the other guys decided to take off some where, the rest of us were relieved.

Around the time the loud girl and her friends left I noticed someone else there. It was a guy I went to high school with who always seems to show up out of no where a few times a year. I can't stand this guy! Great... As soon as he spots me he comes over to where I'm sitting on the couch and starts talking to me like we're old friends. He's had a thing for me since 9th grade. I tried my best to be polite, but at the same time I was trying to find a reason not to talk to him. I was saved when he got up to smoke outside with some of his friends.

While they were outside smoking a guy came up and sat down next to me on the couch. I thought he was pretty cute. He introduced himself to me as Kyle and told me that he noticed how thrilled I looked to talk to the guy who went outside. He offered to save me from him. (Thank you!) I definitely didn't mind him saving me. He seemed like a fun guy to talk to. He was friendly, good looking and he seemed interested in me. I don't even know when the guys came back inside from smoking. Kyle and I were too interested in our conversation with each other. Towards the end of the night Kyle asked to see my cell phone. I didn't know what he was going to do, but I gave it to him. He put in a phone number and gave it back to me. Confused, I asked him, "What's this?" He told me that it was his number and that I should put mine in his phone. I don't even know what made me do it. I think I was just enjoying the attention that he was showing me. What harm could come from exchanging numbers? It wasn't like I was going to call him.

Some time after midnight the same friend who picked me up took me home. Kyle and the stalker guy came along for the ride.

As soon as I got inside I got a text from Kyle... Oh great, what did I do now? ...He let me know that he had fun talking to me and he hoped to talk to me again soon. Oh no. I knew I should have cut it off right then and there, but he knew I was married and off limits. What harm could come from being just friends?

--------

Kyle called me the next night when I got off work. ...I don't even know how it happened. Suddenly our phone conversation turned into us hanging out. I drove over to his house and picked him up. I knew what I was doing. I didn't care. I hadn't heard from my husband in weeks. I was just making new friends... No harm in that, right? I had no intention of taking things further than some innocent flirting... so why not hang out with my new friend?

I remember our ride back to my apartment. On the inside I was nervous, giddy and had butterflies in my stomach... I hadn't felt like that in a long time and I didn't want it to end. On the outside I was confident and flirty. I felt like I was in total control of the situation. I liked knowing that this guy was interested in me and I loved the power that came with that.

On the way up the steps to my apartment I turned to Kyle and jokingly said, "We can hang out, but you just have to do one thing for me... Promise me that you won't fall in love."

To be continued...