Deployment and Cheating, Part 3

May/June 2005 -

Ronnie: So who is he?
Me: Who is who? What are you talking about?
Ronnie: I know you've been talking to someone online. What the F*^% are you doing with Kevin?
Me: Kevin? The only Kevin I know is the one I went to high school with... and I definitely haven't been talking to him. And what do you mean I'm talking to people online? Who told you that??! I haven't been talking to anyone online. I want to know who told you this because they're lying to you!
Ronnie: Don't worry about who told me. Just know that I know and S**t needs to stop NOW.

That was the conversation we had one day before I started work. I don't know where in the world Ronnie was at the time. Probably Greece or maybe Dubai... His deployment was more than half over and he was supposed to be returning in July. Most of our conversations sounded like this... Him accusing me of something and me either defending myself or just getting angry with him. A lot of the time I laughed at the accusations because they were so far off. Who was telling him I was talking to people online??

I was definitely seeing someone, but I never once talked to him online and his name was Kyle, not Kevin.

Kyle spent the night at my apartment that first night and pretty much never left. Our relationship started off pretty innocently despite how it sounds. He slept on the couch for awhile... Kyle and I just really, truly enjoyed hanging out with each other. He allowed me to be myself around him... Something I hadn't felt with someone in a few years. I was having fun. I was laughing and enjoying my life again. It felt good.

Kyle knew a lot of people. A LOT of people. Slowly, but surely his friends were becoming my friends. I loved hanging out with them and they all thought I was a cool chick. I was made even cooler because I was 21 and they were all 19 and 20... I could buy us alcohol... and I did. I spent so much money on alcohol it was pretty ridiculous looking back on it now. I never used Ronnie's money for it though. (He was doing a good job of that himself... spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on alcohol and food while in port.) No, I had my own money during this time. I was working part time as a front end supervisor at Michaels. I didn't make tons of money, but it was enough for me. (Thinking back I can't even remember how we managed to pay bills during this time.)

We were partying every weekend... I supplied the drinks. We were smoking weed everyday... Kyle had lots of hook-ups. Kyle moved from the couch to my bed after one night of partying. We were falling for each other fast. I knew in my head that nothing would ever come of this relationship... I didn't care though. I wasn't thinking of the future. I was living in the present for once and it was addicting. Each day was different and fun. We were making things up as we went along. My hours at work were slowing down so we had plenty of free time. We went to parties. We hung out at the beach. We were just having fun... living for the moment.

One night we decided to have a party at my apartment. There weren't a ton of people that came, but there were enough. We had a fun night. Everyone spent the night in my living room.  In the morning one of the guys that I didn't care for too much decided to whistle at and say vulgar things to one of my apartment managers that walked by. She took offense to it... Later that day I got a notice that I had to either voluntarily move out or they would be forced to evict me. They claimed to have 3 strikes against me and the whistling was the last strike. The first two were bogus claims. She said that some neighbors complained of drug deals going on outside of my apartment. I don't think so! We were smoking weed, but we never had anyone come to the apartment to drop it off! We were always the ones to go pick it up... Second strike? She claims that someone from my apartment broke a water pipe near the swimming pool. Um, seriously? The pool was on the other side of the complex. We never went swimming. We never had a reason to walk past it unless I was walking over there to pay rent. She said she had witnesses to both claims. I had to move.


By this time Ronnie was calling me less and less. We were just going through the motions now. He didn't WANT to call me. As the deployment was coming closer and closer to the end he started talking about divorce....

Deployment and Cheating, Part 2

April 2005 -
One night after work I got a phone call from a guy friend of mine. He asked me if I wanted to come hang out with him and some of his friends at his apartment. I wasn't interested in him at all other than as a friend. He knew that. He also knew that I was married. Despite that, I'm pretty sure he had a little crush on me. I'm not gonna lie, I liked the attention at the time. I wasn't getting any attention from my husband and I was craving it. So I went. I knew I shouldn't have. I was a married woman... even if I could feel my husband pulling away from me. I remember that I actually tried to get out of it by saying that I didn't feel like driving... Should have come up with a better excuse. He offered to pick me up.

When we get to the apartment I can see why he invited me over. It was a bunch of guys hanging out. They wanted some girls there. There was one other female there, but she was with one of the guys and she was nothing but loud, obnoxious and annoying. When her and some of the other guys decided to take off some where, the rest of us were relieved.

Around the time the loud girl and her friends left I noticed someone else there. It was a guy I went to high school with who always seems to show up out of no where a few times a year. I can't stand this guy! Great... As soon as he spots me he comes over to where I'm sitting on the couch and starts talking to me like we're old friends. He's had a thing for me since 9th grade. I tried my best to be polite, but at the same time I was trying to find a reason not to talk to him. I was saved when he got up to smoke outside with some of his friends.

While they were outside smoking a guy came up and sat down next to me on the couch. I thought he was pretty cute. He introduced himself to me as Kyle and told me that he noticed how thrilled I looked to talk to the guy who went outside. He offered to save me from him. (Thank you!) I definitely didn't mind him saving me. He seemed like a fun guy to talk to. He was friendly, good looking and he seemed interested in me. I don't even know when the guys came back inside from smoking. Kyle and I were too interested in our conversation with each other. Towards the end of the night Kyle asked to see my cell phone. I didn't know what he was going to do, but I gave it to him. He put in a phone number and gave it back to me. Confused, I asked him, "What's this?" He told me that it was his number and that I should put mine in his phone. I don't even know what made me do it. I think I was just enjoying the attention that he was showing me. What harm could come from exchanging numbers? It wasn't like I was going to call him.

Some time after midnight the same friend who picked me up took me home. Kyle and the stalker guy came along for the ride.

As soon as I got inside I got a text from Kyle... Oh great, what did I do now? ...He let me know that he had fun talking to me and he hoped to talk to me again soon. Oh no. I knew I should have cut it off right then and there, but he knew I was married and off limits. What harm could come from being just friends?

--------

Kyle called me the next night when I got off work. ...I don't even know how it happened. Suddenly our phone conversation turned into us hanging out. I drove over to his house and picked him up. I knew what I was doing. I didn't care. I hadn't heard from my husband in weeks. I was just making new friends... No harm in that, right? I had no intention of taking things further than some innocent flirting... so why not hang out with my new friend?

I remember our ride back to my apartment. On the inside I was nervous, giddy and had butterflies in my stomach... I hadn't felt like that in a long time and I didn't want it to end. On the outside I was confident and flirty. I felt like I was in total control of the situation. I liked knowing that this guy was interested in me and I loved the power that came with that.

On the way up the steps to my apartment I turned to Kyle and jokingly said, "We can hang out, but you just have to do one thing for me... Promise me that you won't fall in love."

To be continued...

Deployment and Cheating, Part 1

February 2005 Ronnie deployed on a Navy ship that was sailing around the world. We didn't say our good-byes on the best of terms. I remember hugging him in our apartment and telling him that I loved him. I also begged him to keep the drinking to a minimum and to stay out of trouble... he knew I meant girls... His friends drove him to base. I waved to him from the balcony of our apartment and then went on with my day. I don't even remember why I didn't drive him. Maybe I had to work that day.

Ronnie had started off the deployment with a phone call about once a week and sent me at least one e-mail a day. As time went on I was getting about one phone call a month and about one e-mail a week. The phone calls lasted less than five minutes and the e-mails were boring, generic and sounding a bit forced. For about 2 months I e-mailed him every day... When I realized that I was getting nothing in return my e-mails slowed down too.

March 2005 was when the 1st affair happened... well I guess it wasn't really an affair... more like a one night stand. I didn't find out about it until AFTER the deployment. Ronnie was distancing himself from me because he had cheated on me. He had told me that some guy from the ship had flown his girlfriend from the States into Guam, which was their first stop. He didn't care for this guy and wanted to prove to who-knows-who that he could get this guy's girlfriend to sleep with him. (His favorite thing to say back then...and probably still... is, "I do what I want.") I truly believe that he doesn't think he'll have any consequences for his actions. At least at the time he's doing it. And of course he was completely drunk at the time. They did it in the bathroom of a club... In a bathroom stall. Classy, right?

Back at home I was hanging out with my best friend at the time, Melissa. She and her husband had just filed for divorce. (I think she was really hurt when it happened. She did what I did when Ronnie and I got divorced... She went looking for male attention. Not saying it's right, but I think we both dealt with it the same way.) She and I would hang out in Pacific Beach a lot. (Lots of bars, tattoo shops and guys!) We hung out with a lot of guys she knew during that time. After we both turned 21 we would also go to a bar every now and then. When I wasn't hanging out with her I was working... Until the night I went over to a friend's apartment...

That night changed everything for me.

Marriage, Year One

December 2003 - December 2004

I learned a lot that first year. A lot about life, about myself and about the man I just married. Neither one of us really thought things through. I was fresh out of high school and he went straight from one marriage right into another. I gave up a lot of my future plans in the name of love and I think in a way I actually started to resent Ronnie for it.

I decided against joining the Marine Corps and instead of going to college like all of my friends I started working in retail full time. My hours at work were awful. I worked a lot of nights and weekends, which I hated. My new husband was working nights as well, but he had all weekends and holidays off. We spent very little time together during this time.

During the weekends while I worked he spent all his time either at his friend's house or the bars. He drank. A LOT. I didn't even realize that he had a drinking problem until we were married. Even though I knew that he had a problem with it he would never admit to it. He always said that he could handle his alcohol and he could stop drinking any time he wanted to. He drove home drunk almost every night. Some nights he wouldn't make it home and I would have to track him down.

Along with the drinking were the girls... He's a naturally friendly and flirtatious kind of guy and could make fast friends where ever he went. The girls that hung around the bars and his friend's houses showed lots of interest in him. I was still too young to go to the bar with him, but I saw girls flirting with him on the nights that we'd both have off. Nights like that always ended in me getting angry with him and him drinking more and more. I would usually leave him where ever we were and drive myself home... Only to be wondering what was going on without me there. I'd end up calling him all night.

(Thinking about this time in my life brings up all the hurt feelings as if this all happened yesterday. I was a very jealous and bitter person back then. I was angry all the time. Looking back on this now I don't even know why we stayed married! We had no kids. We didn't own anything besides our cars... I just kept telling myself that it would get better. That he would grow out of it and that we'd go back to how things were when we first met. I stayed because I didn't want a failed marriage at the age of 20. I didn't want to have to start my life over again... Little did I know that had I done it then things would have been MUCH easier.)

At the end of 2004 we found out that Ronnie would be leaving on deployment in January 2005. This one was different. He'd be on a ship that sailed around the world for 7 months. I was ready for him to leave....

My Past: September 2002 - December 2003

September 2002 -

Ronnie left for what we thought would be a 6-7 month deployment to Japan. We had no idea that the war in Iraq would break out in March 2003. We had no idea that he would be stuck there for a whole year. The whole time he was gone we stayed in constant contact with each other. We emailed several times a day and he called to talk to me for hours on end after work. Everything seemed perfect.

He came home to visit for a few weeks in December. He stayed for Christmas and my birthday. I was turning 19 in January 2003. He got down on one knee that day and proposed to me. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. We were both beyond happy with the way things were going. Only problem was that he was still legally married to his wife. He kept telling me that she was taking care of it and that it was supposed to be final as soon as he got back.

That never happened.

September 2003 -
Ronnie returned from Japan and their divorce STILL wasn't final yet. So he and I traveled the 6 hours up north to get her to sign the paperwork... and to visit with his son who was now 2. We found out that she was pregnant with some random man's baby. She didn't fight us about signing the paper work. She signed and we went back home. He was staying with us at my parent's house... in a separate room.

November 2003 -
We rented our first apartment together. (I actually live right next door to the complex he and I used to live in...) I wanted to wait until we were married, but I was already tired of living at my parents house. I think we really rushed things because we didn't want to stay there any more.

December 17th 2003 -
His divorce was final and we got the paperwork in the mail a few days later. We eloped the day we got it... on December 20th. The only people we told were my mom and my best friend.

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That first year of marriage wasn't the best...

And the Deception Starts Early

Summer 2002 -

That first date was just the beginning for us. I fell asleep next to him that night and never left. I was hooked on him. He said all the right things and gave me all the attention I've ever wanted. He showered me with love and affection. I had never been with anyone like him before. He already had a career going for him. He had his own place... kinda. He treated me like a princess. After only a few weeks he told me that he loved me. Soon I was telling him the same thing. It was around this time that I found out about his wife and child.

How did I not see that coming?!

There was no evidence at the apartment that he was married and had a baby. There were no toys. No baby clothes. No sign that a woman had ever lived there. He never even mentioned it! None of his friends had mentioned anything about him being married... I found out about them by asking Ronnie a question about something he had hanging up in his room. It was a word made out of metal wire. It simply said, Tre. I asked him what it meant and he hesitantly answered that it was the name of his son. Eventually he told me the whole story. Or at least the story according to him.

He's very good at spinning a story to favor himself.

They were on a break and she had moved back home to Visalia to figure things out. His son was just 9 months old. He swore that they were over and he wasn't going back to her. He said that I made him more happy in the past couple months than she ever had in the past year. He filled my head with everything I wanted to hear. He told me about all their problems and how he didn't want to be with her any more. He told me how beautiful I was and that he would never leave me.

So at 18 years old I was made out to be the other woman and I didn't even know it.

Of course I stayed with him. I was head over heels in love with him. I even told my mom that I thought he was The One. I told myself that we could make this work. If we got married I could handle being a step mom. We could get through anything, right? As long as we loved each other...

A few weeks later he took a trip to Visalia to visit them. By the time he went up there his wife knew about us. He called her on the phone right in front of me... to prove how much he loved me... Ronnie was very hurtful in the things that he said to her that day. In my mind at the time I was only thinking that I had won. Here he was married to this woman and yet he loved me more.

Her mother and family didn't know that anything was wrong between them so (according to Ronnie) to keep up appearances he slept in her bed. They ended up sleeping together a few days in to his trip. It could have been more, but I can only go by what I was told. He ended up coming home that night. He says he felt too guilty to stay. He got home late that night and told me everything. I was beyond hurt and felt completely betrayed by him! How could he have done that to me after all the things he's said to me?? It took me awhile, but I decided that he truly was sorry and that it would never happen again. I stayed.

I should have left that night. This was just the beginning...

The First Date

July 18th, 2002 -

I decided that no harm could be done by going out just this once with Ronnie. I was very interested in getting to know him better. He had a playfulness about him that I enjoyed. He was flirty. He was handsome.... and he was interested in ME.

He took me to Applebees. That night I found out that he had been after me since the day we first met. He was just waiting for the right time. I was flattered. I had secretly wanted him too. We talked the whole time. He was very easy to talk to and he made me laugh. He showed an interest in me like no one had ever done before. He said all the right things... Touched my arm when he would talk. (He's always been a very touchy feely kinda guy.) Looked into my eyes when I would speak. I was becoming putty in his hands.

After dinner we went to the movies. I don't even remember the name of it now... I just remember there were dragons in it. I really wasn't interested in watching the movie. I had this guy sitting next to me that I wanted to get to know. The sexual energy between us was starting to get intense. We stuck to holding hands.

When the movie ended I wasn't ready to go home. Truth be told, I wouldn't have gone back home anyway... My parents thought I was staying at my friend's house for the week. I wasn't ready to end our date and neither was he. Ronnie suggested that we go back to his place to watch some movies that he had rented.

(Later on I found out that he had gone out and BOUGHT a DVD player and rented movies that day with the intent to get me back to his apartment.)

We got to his apartment and he had my favorite alcohol there. (We partied a lot when I was dating my boyfriend... lots of drinking almost every night.) We were in his bedroom which was the master bedroom with his own private bathroom in it.We started drinking and watched the first movie. He was touching me the whole time. Not in a truly sexual way, but like holding my hand or brushing his hand along my arm or back. I had promised myself that nothing was going to happen between us that night. He was making it really hard.

By the time our movie ended we both had a few drinks in us. He suggested we take a shower together... I had never done anything like that before and I was kinda nervous to do that with him. I wasn't thinking clearly because of the alcohol.... So we showered together. Up to that point in my life he was the most beautiful thing I had laid my eyes on. Wow, he was hard to resist that night, but we didn't do anything.... Our shower together ended and I put on one of his t-shirts and went to sleep next to him.

I was falling for him. HARD. What I didn't know at the time was that he had a few skeletons hiding in his closet... in the form of a wife and child.


To be continued...

Where to start?

I should probably start from the beginning.

I was 18. It was May 2002 and we only had about a month and a half left of our senior year of high school. I had just started dating a guy I that I met earlier during my freshmen year. We had a lot of fun together while we were dating, but I knew he wasn't The One. We both had plans to join the Marine Corps. He was leaving in July and I was leaving next January. During our brief relationship he introduced me to his friend's older brother, Ronnie. Ronnie was constantly flirting with me when we were hanging out at my boyfriend's house. I was attracted to him and really wanted to get to know him better, but I was still with someone else. My boyfriend had started to distance himself from me because he was preparing to leave for boot camp. At the time I didn't understand why. I now realize that's their way to deal with leaving... to make it easier on themselves. Ronnie was giving me the attention I craved.

My boyfriend left for boot camp on July 15th, 2002. He was cold and distant that day. His way to deal with leaving. I was crying. We said our good-byes at the recruiter's office and left it at that. We never officially broke up. That was the last time I saw him. (A year later he died while in Iraq... I still feel guilty for how we left things.)

That night I got a call from Ronnie. He wanted to know how I was doing and if he could take me out to dinner. I had a big crush on him by this time and decided no harm would be done by going out with him... just this once.

To be continued...

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I know I said that this wasn't going to be updated any more, but I decided that I'm not done with this blog just yet... In my new blog I had started to write about my my previous marriage. I feel that it fits better in this blog. From now on I'll be posting anything that has to do with the past in this one. I'll leave my new blog for my daily life.

Here's what I started saying about the things I plan to write about....


I've been doing some reading over at the blog, The Quest For T. Lately she's been writing about the affair that she had during her marriage to her ex-husband. Reading her words has really made me think about my own situation and what I went through during my marriage to Ron. There's a lot of stuff that I've never told anyone about. There's a lot that even my ex-husband doesn't know about. I'm sure he could say the same thing about me. Our marriage was pretty much doomed from the start. Looking back I can see that now.

At the time I was a naive 18 year old girl who had just graduated high school. He was a 21 year old United States Marine stationed here in San Diego. He had his own apartment... that he shared with his brother and his co-worker. Back then I thought the world of him. He had me fooled. He had us all fooled. I wasn't completely innocent though. That year I had made plenty of mistakes. Mistakes that would truly hurt my mother if she knew about everything I've done in my life.

When I was 17 I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That's a pretty hard time in any persons life to decide to change religions and join a church. It didn't last very long. I still believed in the church doctrine, but I just wasn't ready to fully commit myself to it. So yes, I'm Mormon. I'm very active in the Church now, but during my whole relationship with Ron I wasn't going to church... it was the furthest thing from my mind.

I think I'm ready to talk about everything that's happened. I think it will help me process everything and allow me to really move on with my life. I'm going to be writing about everything from the good times (which were few and far between), sex, our affairs, drugs, drinking... If that's something that you're not comfortable reading about then please don't read. I won't be writing about this stuff every day, but there will be a large portion of my blog that will talk about my past. It's not who I am today, but my past has helped shape me into the person I am now.

I'll type up a few drafts and when I'm ready to share I'll post them... I just thought I should give a fair warning of what may lie ahead.

New Blog Home!

The time has come for me to stop updating this blog... I'm no longer a divorced mommy and I felt like it was time to move on. I hope my readers will come follow me on my new blog.

Happily At Home

Hope to hear from you on there!

We did it!

Don't have much time to write... We're still unpacking boxes and trying to get in to some sort of routine at our new place. Just wanted to share this picture of all 4 of us on our special night. =)

The Big Move

It's happening tomorrow! :D Tomorrow morning we're getting the keys to our new apartment and we get to start moving our stuff in!! I'm very excited and I can't believe how fast this past week has gone by.

It's gonna be a super busy day.

Ok, I have something to say and I don't think I can hold it in any longer! I guess I'll spill the beans about the other changes I mentioned in my last post... everyone will find out eventually anyway!

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!

Yes, you read that right, Josh and I are getting married tomorrow at 7pm. I know it seems soooo soon. So here's what I wanted to write in my last post about all of this:

After jumping up and down in the excitement of getting an apartment we then realized there was a problem... We made a promise to each other and ourselves that we were going to do things right this time. We've both made mistakes in the past, especially in previous relationships, and we didn't want to make those mistakes again. We're LDS (aka Mormon) and someday we'd like to get sealed together as a family. Living in sin is definitely a step in the wrong direction. So we're doing it...

So that's it. After tomorrow I'll no longer be the divorced mom.... Hmmm... still debating the name change of this blog. We'll see.

I'll be back to post about our lil ceremony/reception as soon as I can get the computer hooked back up. ;) Of course, I think I'll take a mini break from the world wide web to enjoy my new family and the beginning of our lives together.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Lots and lots of changes! So many in fact that I've been meaning to post something in here, but simply haven't had the time.

This past week my mom came to me and let me know that my sister, brother-in-law and niece were going to be moving into the trailer that her and my step dad have parked in the driveway. They're going through a rough time right now and aren't able to stay in the apartment they live in. My BIL recently got in a dirt bike accident and totally ruined his knee for life. He won't be able to work for at least the next 2-3 months while he heals.

(FYI - For those that don't know, my boys and I ended up living here permanently at my mom & step dad's house after The Ex decided to take a hike. I've been paying rent, cleaning house and doing all the cooking since I moved in...Making it possible for me to work from home and raise my boys.)

Anyway, so with them moving in here and my step dad coming home from working in Vegas for the past year this house will be PACKED. I'm talking, 9 people in a 4 bedroom manufactured house. When I found out what was going on I immediately talked to Josh about it. He had the same concerns I did... All these people in one house.... Only 2 of the 9 people work outside the home (til my step dad starts his next job in Vegas.). That also means there would be 3 kids under 3. My niece is 17 months old. Needless to say, it's going to be a MAD HOUSE in here. Nap times will be a thing of the past. Going to bed at a decent time, forget it.

So Josh and I talked about it. We decided to get our own place. We're in a position financially to get a decent place. He has a good paying, stable job. We planned to do this all in February anyway... Why not move it up several months? That way my sister, BIL and niece don't have to stay the whole winter in a freezing cold trailer. They can move in to the 2 rooms the boys and I are in right now.

So we did it!

We did some apartment searching and found one right away. It was almost as if it fell in to our laps. We were just driving by them and decided to check it out. It was 5:15pm. What were the chances the office would still be open? It was. They were closing at 6. :) They had everything we were looking for and had an apartment available. We filled out an application and we got approved for it yesterday. Move-in day is October 16th!

It's gonna be a super busy week for us. We have 6 days to pack!!

Lots more changes to come, but I'll save those for another post. I'm pretty sure that a certain pair of eyes have found and now read this blog... I promise I'll explain more later! You'll just have to stay tuned! :)

Wordless Wednesday: Josh gets a haircut!

(After posting the bad pics of Josh with his Elvis/Wolverine hair I figured I'd post one after the haircut. I can never get all 3 to look at the camera at once.)

Pumpkin Patch

Today the boys and I were invited to the pumpkin patch by our friends Lizz & Frank. It's their oldest daughter's 3rd birthday today. We actually celebrated her birthday this past Saturday, but it was nice to do a little something with them today. After all, I was there to witness her birth.... I was 32 weeks pregnant at the time with C. I'll never forget that year....

Anyway, we had fun spending time with them. WARNING: Picture overload!



No idea where that tongue came from...




He wasn't too sure at first...






He came around though. That face says it all. :)


Mr. Blue eyes.


Josh, I love you, but you need a hair cut!


Me and my lil man. :) I need more pics of me and the boys... I'm always the one behind the camera though!




Ok this slide was ridiculous! The toddlers took it like champs though. I went on it once.... I had to be talked into it. I HATE heights! When you're on this thing it's seriously straight up and down. I don't know how my 2 yr old handled it, but he LOVED it!


There he goes!

Easy Ground Beef Stroganoff Recipe

I found this recipe several years ago and it's been a hit with everyone who has ever tasted it. It's super easy to make - only 5 ingredients. It's also easy on the budget. I made this the first time Josh came over to our house. He's been around ever since. LOL. I don't know if it's my cooking or me that he keeps coming back for. ;)

I made this last night for dinner and took a few pictures. Here's the recipe:

• 1 pound lean ground beef (turkey or chicken)
• 1 onion, chopped (3/4 to 1 cup)
• 1 cup celery, chopped (2-3 stalks)
• 1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup (I actually use 2 cans)
• 1 cup low fat sour cream or yogurt (I like to use 2 cups of sour cream)

In a medium sized skillet saute onion and celery in about 1 tablespoon olive oil until tender.

In same skillet add ground beef and brown. Drain off fat.

Add soup and sour cream. Stir all together until meat is well coated. Heat thoroughly.

Serve over rice, noodles, crispy fried potatoes... it's good on lots of stuff.... I prefer rice. I usually make some in my rice cooker, but last night I cheated and used boil in a bag rice.

Ta-da! (Not much to look at, but it was really yummy!)

The possibilities are endless

If you haven't heard yet, Josh and I plan to get married on February 20th of next year. I know that seems so soon, but when you find the right person you just know. He's everything I've ever wanted in a life partner. He loves my boys and treats them as if they were his own. He's very protective of us and wants nothing but the best for all 3 of us. He loves that I cook dinner every night, that I clean house and I take care of my kids. When he gets off work he wants to do nothing more than to come over and spend time with us. Doesn't matter what we're doing he just wants to be with us. Josh doesn't drink or smoke. He doesn't like to go out to bars or party every weekend. He's a hard working man who just wants to come home to a warm, home cooked meal and enjoy an evening with his wife and kids. Sad to say, but I never experienced any of that in my marriage to Ron. Thinking about that makes me even more thankful for Josh. (Hmm... would I have to rename my blog, The Re-Married Mom?)

Soooo... Tonight we were over at Lizz (my BFF) & Frank's house. They're the ones who are moving back to St. Louis in November. They have 2 daughters who are almost the exact age my 2 boys are. I've mentioned this before, but Lizz is truly my best friend. In the past 3 years we've gone through the deployments of our husbands, births of all our babies (Do we really have 4 kids between us now?!), all the crap I went through in my marriage... and then divorce. We've been there for each other through everything you can imagine. Sure there were times when we wouldn't hang out as much. Sometimes we'd let 2-3 weeks go by without saying a word to each other. After those 2-3 weeks went by we'd always pick back up right where we left off without skipping a beat.

Ok I'm getting way off track here...

So Josh, the boys and I went over to their house to drop off some boxes and to hang out. We started talking about Josh & I seriously moving to St. Louis, MO so that we could all still be together. Is that totally crazy? Follow your best friend and her family to MO just because we'd miss each other THAT much. Maybe. But why not? There's nothing here in San Diego that is holding us back. The boys' bio dad no longer lives here. My mom and step dad plan to move to Utah in a few years and my dad and step mom will probably end up moving to Idaho. Josh has no problem living so far away from his mom and dad. In his line of work (HVAC installation/repair/tech) he could probably make a better living in MO.

Ok, I admit that I will REALLY miss living by the ocean. I'll miss my family that will still be here and all of my old friends. I'll probably even miss the 70-80 degree year round weather. (Even though I'm always complaining about how hot it is in the winter time!)

What I WON'T miss are the ridiculous home prices and gas prices out here. I think that's one of the major factors in our decision to move. Sure we could stay out here and live pay check to pay check while living in some crappy lil 3 bedroom apartment for $1300 a month. (AND THAT'S CHEAP OUT HERE!) If we did decide to buy a house here in SD our only real option would be a mobile home/manufactured home that sits in a mobile home park. No yard, no land, neighbors that live waaaay too close to you. Don't get me wrong... nothing against these kind of homes. I grew up in one... I'm actually sitting in my mom's manufactured home right now.

We could do better though.

We could get out of SD and move some place where we could afford a nice 4 bedroom house with a big backyard for the kids to play in... and why not do it where we already have friends who know the area? I suppose it doesn't necessarily have to be St. Louis... we would make friends any where we go....

Like I said, the possibilities are endless.

Last day of September

Maybe I should do a little recap on September and set some goals for myself in October.

Let's see...

September recap:

• Heard from the ex for the 1st time since he deployed to Japan.
• Went to my first Charger game with Josh on Sept. 4th. (Official date #8)
• My baby turned 8 months old and started cruising around furniture.
• My 2 year old learned how to ride a bike with training wheels.
• Spent waaaay too much money and managed to leave $0.21 in my checking account til payday on the 1st. A used double jogging stroller put me over the edge!
• Visited with friends I haven't seen in awhile.
• Visited with family I haven't seen in awhile.
• Lowered my cell phone minutes and cut out the internet to save $50 a month!
• All of us got colds and still trying to get over them.

October goals/things to do:

• Set a budget for myself.
• Put at least $50 in to savings and LEAVE IT THERE!
• No fast food! There's plenty of food at home to eat.
• Exercise at least 30 - 60 minutes a day. Gotta put that expensive jogging stroller to use!
• Spend as much time as I can with my BFF who is leaving to St. Louis, MO on November 1st.
• Meet up with my Aunt to go over wedding details. Thinking about doing something small in her back yard.
• ROAD TRIP to El Paso, TX to visit with the boys' paternal grandparents.
• Work on my Cafepress store. Get Christmas stuff made this month!
• Work with my 2 year old on potty training!

Ouch, that stung just a little.

My ex mother-in-law (actually Ron's step mom) just told me over the phone that all these years she thought it was because of me that Ron didn't visit her and his dad. She thought it was because of me that she never met C. in person. She thought I was telling him that we couldn't go or that I didn't WANT to go.

Really? Ouch.

My ex MIL has actually been wonderful to me through this whole thing. She was there for me backing me up in the very beginning when my ex called me up from Florida to tell me that he wanted a divorce. She has been nothing but supportive towards me. It's because of how great her and my ex FIL have been that I'm driving all the way to El Paso, TX to let them visit with their grandsons. Grandsons who they've never seen other than in pictures... and if it were left up to Ron they'd never have the chance to meet them.

I was calling her to confirm the dates and let them know that yes, we are actually coming. She seems very grateful that Josh and I are doing this. I think that's why she told me about what she thought of me all these years. She realized that she was wrong... and she actually apologized to me for thinking that about me. I'm not gonna hold it against her. I think she realizes now just how messed up in the head Ron is. She knows that if she's gonna have any chance at all to get to know her grandsons it's gonna be to go through me.

Such a sharp contrast to Ron's biological mom.

Susie.

She got back in touch with me a couple days ago. I should have known better than to trust that she's changed. She's STILL denying that she did anything wrong. I wasn't even going to talk about the past with her. I've moved on. Apparently she hasn't. She just HAD to message me and let me know her side of the story once more. Drop it already will you?!

I promised Josh that I wouldn't talk to her any more. She creates nothing but drama and I really don't need that in my life. She can go back to getting her updates & pictures of the boys from Ron... LOL.

2+ Months Later...

Got a phone call from Ron on the 4th of this month. He called to let me know his number in Japan. Hmmm.... I'm pretty sure it says in our divorce papers that when you move or change your number you're supposed to inform the other parent within 48 hours. It had definitely been 2 months since he deployed to Japan. He claims to have tried to e-mail me when he first arrived. Sure you did.... My e-mail hasn't changed in the past 3 years. His hasn't changed his either so I decided to e-mail him some updates on the boys. I even sent him a picture of the boys that I took of them in July.



Why did I even bother?



I got no response. Not even a, 'thank for the picture." or "wow, they're getting so big!"



Nothing. Nada. Zilch.



A few days later that same picture ended up on New Wife's myspace page in a new album titled, "All Our Boys". I'm sorry, but that doesn't fly with me. You've never met my kids and probably never will. Please don't post pictures of my boys as if they're yours and you love and care about them. I was pretty upset when I saw it, but I wrote the nicest (well, in my opinion) e-mail to both my ex and New Wife.

The e-mail:

Hey Ron,
I'm writing to you about the picture I sent you the other day... I was wondering if you could ask New Wife (name changed to protect the innocent lol) to please take it off of her myspace page. (If your mom has it up can you ask her to the same?) I sent that to you so you could see how big they were getting. I don't mind if you sent it to her to look at... you do what you want, but I'd rather not have the boys pictures up on other peoples pages. I know how you feel about posting crap on myspace and other sites like that. Thanks for understanding.

-T

Lol I guess that second to the last sentence is kinda funny considering the fact that here I am posting it for who ever to see on my blog. And maybe I shouldn't be so petty about things. A friend helped put things in perspective for me. They can do what they want with the pictures. They can say and do what they want on their Myspace of Facebook pages. I'm the one with the boys. I'm the one who gets the hugs and kisses everyday. I get to tuck them in at night knowing that their safe and sound with me.

Ok so call me petty. It still bugs me.

Oh did I mention that in her about me section she wrote something like, "I'm 28 years old. I'm the mom of 5 boys and I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world. Life is best when I'm with him. Come home soon daddy!" Puke. So yeah apparently she has 5 boys... She's given birth to 2. She's including Tre, Ron's oldest who she's never met and MY 2 boys. Ok lady, keep living in your fantasy land. Do it while you can... before Ron moves on to New Wife #4 and leaves you in the dust. Just like he did to New Wife #1 (and son #1), New Wife #2 (me and son #2 & #3).

Anyway, mission accomplished. I got an e-mail back saying, "Done and done. Anything else I can do for you ma'am." Ugh. Always the smartass. I thanked him and left it at that.

Haven't heard from him since.